T O P
Throwawayacct1015

Da Simpsons predicted dis


polish_animu_boi

Splatoon


cecilforester

The chemicals we pumped into the water messed with their hormones, now they're Splatroons.


_CactusJuice_

That’s really just how splatoon lore is. Humanity nuked everyone, the world got flooded, the squids got radioactive, and the chemicals in the water made them really into fashion and gay


TheKingOfNachos

I DON’T LIKE THEM PUTTING CHEMICALS IN THE WATER THAT TURNS THE FRICKING SQUIDS GAY


twirpwit

Flouride is why humans are gay


Affectionate-Sir99

Ah yes, Colgate was the real cause behind the great rage of Achilles upon hearing of Patroclus’ death…


dipropyltryptamanic

Respect the reference but Achille's rage started bc Agamemnon took the lady he wanted. He was still flouride-free gay for Patroclus, though


Affectionate-Sir99

Not getting his state mandated war-waifu is what made him all emo and reclusive, but hearing his no-socks balls-touching mancrush got merked is what sent him over the edge and back into battle.


Lukthar123

Kek


turtle_bread_456

[pretty close](https://splatoonwiki.org/wiki/Alterna_Logs)


Ze_Vindow_Viper

Nintendo sure likes making children’s games where humanity is wiped out by implied nuclear conflict


[deleted]

They know a thing or two because they’ve seen a thing or two


dipropyltryptamanic

Just about exactly two


Awesomesauce1337

Splatoon is one but what are the others?


Ze_Vindow_Viper

Pikmin: the “treasures” in the 2nd game are random pieces of trash like 7-up bottle caps and duracell batteries, so it’s implied to take place on Earth. Obviously that doesn’t mean humans are dead, but a Geiger counter in the 1st game shows high levels of radiation. Kirby 64: there’s a planet that strongly resembles Earth but it’s completely frozen over.


Lonely3DSOwner

Also Kirby and The Forgotten Land take place on an abandoned earth entirely, dunno if it's the same one on 64


Godchilaquiles

Also Fire Emblem Three Houses The Agarthans are basically what remained of humanity after hiding underground and they have nukes


WestAccurate8861

Yes, but that series was never set on earth in the first place. The nukes used magic in the first place.


Awesomesauce1337

Holy shit I forgot about Pikmin, I used to love that game


ThePlumThief

There's a new one coming out soon too


DalekCaek

Pikmin and probably Zelda.


nmotsch789

There was an official comic which is meant to be canon as far as I'm aware, in which the nuclear conflict was not just "implied", it was outright stated. It said that someone nuked Antarctica, and that, combined with the effects of climate change, caused enough land to flood to hurt the ecosystem enough to kill off most land-based life, as well as all mammals (including aquatic mammals). (And don't bring up Marina's lines from the Unicorns vs Narwhals Splatfest as proof that aquatic mammals still exist - those lines were not present in the original language, and that was a case of localization changing things and making a mistake that contradicted established lore.) At least, that was all the case up until Splatoon 3. I haven't played S3's campaign, but I've seen the trailer for it, and I don't know what happens in it.


dekachiin5

I don't get why anyone would care to blow up a pipeline after it was shut off and not in use, but I assume the russians did it anyway because they're sneaky bastards and do weird shit all the time, like blowing up their own people's apartment buildings and getting caught.


[deleted]

[удалено]


EffablyIneffable

I doubt it was the Russians. They've been benefiting from preconceived notions since the cold war. Hell, they are super incompetent and you would think with all the money the Russian oligarchs have that they would be doing alright, but those greedy pigs are reaping what they have failed to sew. It was probably one of our own agencies that did it to facilitate war or something stupid like we always do to justify filling up the war chest and stimulating the economy again. Stop giving credit to these commies for shit they didn't do.


[deleted]

Biden's too much of a puss to do something like this. Russia makes sense because they have nothing to lose. Any other country has the risk of getting caught with negligible gain. US doesn't give enough of a shit about the conflict to do this and again it's a bold move so not really Biden's style.


EffablyIneffable

> Biden's too much of a puss to do something like this. Lol, you're a fucking idiot if you think Biden authorizes stuff like this. You know how much illegal and unauthorized shit happens under Biden's nose by our own agencies? A lot. We have these things called black sites where the ABC agencies do heinous stuff for information and testing all over the world. Biden has no control over their actions. They do it all under the suggestion of safety.


[deleted]

Why would they though? If i'm a CIA dude what do I gain by secretly blowing up an inactive pipeline? Just seems like a potential way to get in trouble without anybody gaining.


EffablyIneffable

You're thinking too hard. There doesn't have to be an immediate gain or motive. It's about control and influencing the world. Also, if you have the right people in power to pull favors for you then you can cover your ass pretty easily. Hollywood has done a great job at making people think that it's easy to track down people that do bad things. The people that destroyed that pipeline had money, intel, and manpower. They knew what they were doing.


[deleted]

If we're accepting that there doesn't need to be an immediate gain or motive, it still makes more sense for it to be Russia. It's a classically Russian move. - deceit, misdirection, and plausible deniability. All calculated to introduce uncertainty and tension among western actors who can't be quite certain whats happening and who to trust.


Medical_Forever1379

A fair point, but youre also forgetting that the ABC agencies are 100% composed of government workers. And what do all these have in common? they all have pension plans. If a goverment agent undertakes a risky/unsafe/drastic move or plan without the sign up of a higher up, he risks not only losing his cushy desk job but also his pension and potentially his freedom. Nobody really wants to make any very risky or aggressive moves for fear of the backlash it might cause. So while the the 3 letter glowies might hold a lot of power, they all have a lot to lose.


EffablyIneffable

> If a goverment agent undertakes a risky/unsafe/drastic move or plan You know what a mercenary is? Trust me, there's a lot of skilled individuals with clearances and positions that give them free reign to do whatever is necessary for national security. That includes all measures to attain the goal or achieve success. This may have been a preemptive strike to get the war machines going. Little actions that set certain things in motion. With our track record, I wouldn't be surprised if it was us, tbh.


Medical_Forever1379

Yes but a mercenary still leaves tracks. People keep tabs on mercenaries they'd notice if they disappeared or went off the coast of denmark around the sametime the pipes broke. This was the work of professionals, but I don't think something this big could have been done under Biden's nose. \>little actions that set certain things into motion Yes youre defn right, but blowing up Nordstream 2 is a little more than a little action. I agree with you overall, but I think Biden just signed off on this. Biden doesnt strike me as a puss.


Medical_Forever1379

I seriously doubt it was a Russian maneuver. By keeping Nordstream 2, Germany would still be swaying when it would come to sanctions. But now that theres no possibility for cheap russian gas, they'll have nothing to gain by not putting sanctions, so they'll opt for Norway. Now the Russians hold next to no leverage anymore, and I dont think they can fix the pipes themselves because they need western tech and machines to repair.


Proprioceptrupt

Pretty obvious the CIA did it to keep EU under the American thumb. If Russia wanted to prevent Europe from getting gas they'd just shut off the pipeline. Now that the option to make a deal with Russia is off the table, Europe has less incentive to deescalate tensions with Russia and will have to source their gas from elsewhere. It makes no sense for Russia to false flag this and it's 100% in US interests for the pipeline to be sabotaged


Medical_Forever1379

exactly this.


cartmanisthebest

It’s probably an implicit Russian threat on other European energy infrastructure and a message that Europe isn’t getting gas anytime soon from them. The US isn’t gonna blow up their allies energy infrastructure, there’s only one country interested in creating uncertainty in European energy markets.


Proprioceptrupt

If they wanted to prevent Europe getting gas they'd turn it off, not destroy it. Russia owns the pipeline. They've already explicitly threatened to turn the pipeline off, there's no need for implicit threats. The gas was a massive bargaining chip for Russia before the pipeline was destroyed. The infrastructure is controlled by Russia, not Europe. Everything in your comment is totally wrong


cartmanisthebest

The pipeline was already shut off, at least be aware of the current status of the pipeline at the time before running your mouth. Again the US isn’t going to destabilize European energy markets, that is exactly the opposite of the US’s interests, but it is in Russia’s. We’ll have to wait and see for confirmation of everything so ultimately us arguing is futile until we see it


d47

to ensure it was never used again I suppose.


nipzx

It seems like a good play by Putin to stop a regime change to turn it back on


Excellent_Succotash8

Putin wouldn't let a regime change happen. Everyone in his government fears or likes him and most of the Russian population support him because they see him as standing up to the west.


nipzx

I would certainly agree that he is feared but I doubt many are following him because they believe in what he says. The army is likely being held together by blatant threats against the troops themselves or their families if they fail to conscript. I know Putin put in a large amount of money into 'influencers' to try to bring more to his side but if they really believe him is yet to be seen.


oreanea

Stop getting your news from reddit.


Thrice_Upon_A_Time

>The army is likely being held together by blatant threats against the troops themselves or their families if they fail to conscript. I swear to God Americans and Western Europeans are at the same level of brainwashing than North Korea at this point. Watching how even the educated "first worlerds" eat all the bullshit about "the other side literally Hitler" is scary.


[deleted]

Russians keep doing really blatantly evil stuff and not bother even covering their tracks. I mean they will just straight up kill off journalists and politicians they don't like with poison, and just don't give a f*ck how obvious it was them who did it. I think it is kind of based


oreanea

Not the hecking journalists and politicianerinos!


oreanea

Reminder that being anti Russia is exactly the same as being pro vax, pro lockdown, pro Floyd, etc It is the current thing and every bit as much bullshit as every one of those


go_getz_em

lol reminder that you think you are a 'lion among sheep' or whatever when you are just as brainwashed


oreanea

>You having a different opinion than what is taught in schools, academia, media, workplaces, and entertainment means that you are just as brainwashed.


go_getz_em

say I don't care about any of their opinions and have formed my own based on my own sense of morality and am disgusted and saddend that a sovereign democracy is being invaded and that people are dying for no good reason.


oreanea

Huh? Are you saying that's what I'm supposed to believe? The Ukraine is not a "sovereign Democracy" for starters. And I put the "people dying for no reason" mostly on Zelensky fighting an avoidable and unwinnable war.


v0rtexbeater

No, it's not the same at all. Russia is the biggest paper tiger in modern history and this invasion proved that, still defending them is just ultra copium at this point. Look i hate the mainstream media and the libtards as much as you but real world is a little bit more complex than "someone i don't like says this so i **must** believe otherwise".


oreanea

>real world is a little bit more complex than "someone i don't like says this so i must believe otherwise". Of course it's more complex than that. I never said that.


Bin-Weevils

>Every war fought in Europe because of Russia happened because of "the current thing" not because Russia is a tumor that can't stop spreading its cancer to the rest of the continent this take again


oreanea

> Every war fought in Europe because of Russia happened because of "the current thing" Which wars are you referring to?


Bin-Weevils

Burger who feels clever after watching Paul Joseph Watson can't read a history book, sad!


oreanea

Your statement made no sense. Russia hasn't started any wars in Europe in a long time. How does that relate to the "current thing"?


Bin-Weevils

>Russia hasn't started any wars in Europe in a long time He actually believes this


oreanea

Russia literally has not started any wars in Europe since the fall of the Soviet Union. It's looking more and more like you pulled some nonsense out of your ass and are now simply being evasive.


Bin-Weevils

>Russia literally has not started any wars in Europe since the fall of the Soviet Union. It's looking more and more like you pulled some nonsense out of your ass and are now simply being evasive. They started the war in Ukraine, because unfortunately for Putin he is too weak to attack any actual useful country, and anyway, I said in my original comment "Every war Russia has started through history", I'm not sure why you're talking about modern history.


oreanea

Pretty sure the Ukrainian government started that war by attacking the Donbas Republic. Anyways I don't understand how your comment makes sense. People are always making excuses for the Russians starting wars? Russia is constantly aggressing into Europe? I don't get it.


winkerback

It was me I blew the pipe


WiseWolf58

Your mom blows my pipe too


winkerback

Woah


crappy6969

Can you fix it?


Background_Brick_898

I broke the dam


Cool_Pound4353

n pipeline


1_e4_e5_2_Ke2

It doesn't make sense to me that Russia is to blame. Why would they sabotage a source of revenue for themselves? If it's because they want to cut Europe off from gas, then they could just pull out of the deal and do what they want anyways. Why sabotage your own gas pipeline to make a point?


oreanea

Makes no sense. It takes a huge card off their negotiation table. Seems much more likely the US did it so that Germany and Russia couldn't work something out when they're freezing in the winter.


Plantasaurus

The [CIA warned Germany](https://news.yahoo.com/cia-warned-germany-weeks-ago-093254247.html) weeks ago... but maybe they did it?


oreanea

>eyy nice lookin pipeline ya got there. Better watch out, we wouldn't want sometin to happen to it, ya dig?


EffablyIneffable

"Warned" it was probably a warning to Germany that they were going to destroy it. CIA is always doing shady shit and blaming it on others.


SuccThoseRads445

I hope than when all of this is over, they'll declassify shit in 60 years and admit they did it


EffablyIneffable

The US government will never admit it. It makes us look bad, which is the biggest reason they won't admit it. I'd love to be a fly on the wall to hear about what really happened around the US for situations like when we were creating the SR71 or the JFK assassination, or the death of Dr. King, and so on and so forth. Roswell would be cool to hear about, too. But it will never come out. They have too much to lose in terms of public image and intel.


[deleted]

Worse shit has been declassified


EffablyIneffable

Such as?


[deleted]

That time when pregnant women were forced to take radioactive pills as "medication" and birthed abominations. Or that time when they experimented on numerous people to try and control them completely


P41N90D

It's the 'whodunit' like the chemical attack they pulled in Syria.


Viciuniversum

>Be Putin >Make stupid incomprehensible decision that hurts Russia >All the stupid westoids say “No, way, why would Russia do it to itself?” *Smug Pepe* >Stupid westoids don’t know about “maskirovka”


[deleted]

Squid monster gets nervous. They are onto us, quick shut it off! No more blowing up human oil pipes


[deleted]

Don’t question evil, evil works on a whole different level


Wursteintopf

Sea creatures? We opened a rift and Kaijus will come out soon...


Jetstream-Sam

We'll have to build a huge boston dynamics dog thing to fight them off I guess


Background_Brick_898

Bruh, humans are fish


EndTimesDestroyer

TIL sea creature's are american.


PitchBlackGrin

Does anyone have the octopus pepe?


[deleted]

sneeds feed and seed formerly squids


IntangibleRedditor

Third partied by a fucking crustacean AGAIN


Legoking

Based and gillpilled


imhere2downvote

hey nice cocks


EyesOfBaduk

The abyss


thewanderingchilean

What happened? I don't watch the news.


CastawayBoris

Someone tore up the nord pipe to sell for scrap so there’s a keg at Greg’s killer party this weekend Saturday October 1st, 2022


whenimcleaningwindow

Can you ask Greg if he can move it to Friday or Sunday? I'm busy Saturday


[deleted]

That's a smug looking sea creature


Skipatronic

How Splatoon starts


philipquarles

Based squid-monster.


feedum_sneedson

cephalopod


fourthwallcrisis

cephalococks =D


DiabeticRhino97

Anon didn't read that two sources corroborated that there were two explosions detected along the line


Error428

Plot of splatoon


[deleted]

There is a little penis and testicles on the squid and two of the tentacles are penises


Boberoo2

Why do the 2 tentacles on top look like penises?


HornTailMale

Did you notice his actual weeny?


Boberoo2

No way I just did this is epic


rcglinsk

A "man" can dream.


billabongcunt

Oh man even after seeing this ten different times today it's still so fucking hilarious!!


Starstuffdrifter

AAAARRGGHOOOOOOOOOOOO IM LEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAKIIIIIING


midnooid

At 3 places at the same time? Hmm yes some damn intelligent fish


Nayafuri

The return of the sea people


Solid-Weird-7346

Just like Splatoon


Kevli3

ruZZians blew up the pipe, to avoid billions of potential penalties due to not providing gas via pipe as per contracts.


hagfists

I doubt it was them. US/Ukraine is more likely if ya think about it.


Kevli3

Orc detected.


unamednational

most open minded Ukraine war discussion


hagfists

lmao. you have no control over your own mind. when the media tells you to jump, you ask how high.


Kevli3

Putler mad


CantHideFromGoblins

Idk where you got your orc detector or why it took so long to go off. 4chan is a Russia’s ideas breeding ground, everyone is either Orc or a goblin associated who only wishes they could be orc


Traditional_Rice_528

"[Anyone of Russian descent should just do the world a favor and get yourselves fixed already](https://i.gyazo.com/81894a2e6f11b079762ca95412654623.png)"


CantHideFromGoblins

You ‘commies’ might as well become an eunuch, it’s not like your using your balls for anything other than jerking off to war crimes anyways


Traditional_Rice_528

I sincerely hope one day you wake up without all of that hate in your heart.


CantHideFromGoblins

I hope I wake up to Russians not cutting the balls of POWs but we all can’t have what we want can we? I have no hate, just a deep frustration for people like you who excuse and delight in the actions of rapists, murderers, and pedofiles


Traditional_Rice_528

Rape is deplorable. Murder is deplorable. Pedophilia is deplorable. Russia's actions by and large are deplorable. I don't know why you would accuse me of excusing something like that based on...? I don't think the solution to any of the above issues is a genocide of Russian people. Especially "anyone of Russian descent."


hagfists

read a different book