T O P

If you could name the first city on Mars, what would you name it?

If you could name the first city on Mars, what would you name it?

alleghenysinger

Concordia, daughter of Mars, goddess of harmony.


LieutenantCrash

That's a good name for a city


OkThatsReallyBad

Except for, you know, that one boat.


Banff_Beer

Well, it did have “Costa” as the first part of the name.


Russe1Adl3r

Have the leader be named Francesco Schettino


AcquaFisc

Salga a bordo cazzo!


Russe1Adl3r

VADA A BORDO, CAZZO!


Histoireguy

…why do I have a feeling we’ll just end up with another Concord instead


Hayych1

Literally a good ass name for one


bionix90

God ass name.


DynamoAzure

Serious answer: Ares or something with Ares in it, since Mars is named after the Roman God of War, and Ares is the Greek equivalent. Dumb shitpost answer: Pepperoni Town, no reason.


Hawkbats_rule

Athens. You know, just to piss him off.


_Weyland_

New Athens. Also it's kinda funny how Athena, being the godess of wisdom and one of the most adequate Greek Gods, managed to piss off so many other gods.


WaxStatue

Mars is also a giant desert, so I’m think “Areszona”


stlmick

How are we going to relocate all the Marzicans though?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Agnostic_Pagan

Srsly though, yes. This should be the capital of Mars.


OldBob10

We’ll do what human invaders usually do: kill most of the natives, enslave the rest, and feed ‘em a heaping helping of religion to explain that A) they deserved it, and B) they’re better off this way.


Eaterofseals

I could hear this in Nixon’s voice from futurama


1CEninja

I unironically love this name for a region/state/district, though I don't think it works too well for a city name.


ajteitel

As an Arizonan, I approve


DynamoAzure

r/angryupvote


CamelSpotting

That's truly terrible, +1.


-technosapien-

If the internet is polled, it will be MarsyMcMarsFace


Smart_Ass_Dave

The Mesopotamians connected the planet with [Nergal](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nergal) who has one of my favorite stories in mythology. The gods have a feast, but Ereshkigal, the queen of the underworld can't attend because she isn't allowed to leave the underworld. So she sends her major domo instead as her representative. All of the gods greet the major domo as if he were Ereshkigal herself and pay him great respect. Except Nergal. Nergal stays seated, disrespecting the major domo and by extension Ereshkigal. When Ereshkigal hears of this she demands that Nergal come to the Underworld and face her wrath. Nergal has to go because but before he leaves, the king of the gods, Ea, gives the following advice: > From the moment they bring a chair to you, do not go to it, do not sit upon it. > When the baker brings you bread, do not go to it, do not eat the bread. > When the butcher brings you mean, do not go to it, do not eat the meat. > When the brewer brings you beer, do not go to it, do not drink the beer. > When they bring you a footbath, do not go to it, do not wash your feet. Here's the good stuff... > When Ereshkigal has been to the bat and dressed herself in a fine dress, Allowing you to glimpse her body. You must not do that which men and women do. So Nergal goes down, into the Underworld and respects Ea's advice and does not sit in the chair. He does not eat the bread, he does not eat the meat, he does not drink the beer, he does not wash his feet but he *absolutely* puts his dick into Ereshkigal. They has sex for seven days straight, at the end of which he leaves. His dick is so great that she sends word to the gods that he must return and marry him or she will blanket the earth with an army of the dead until the dead outnumber the living, killing everything. At which point Ea is like "Dude, what the fuck" and sends Nergal back down to marry Ereshkigal after another week-long fuck-session. TLDR: Nergal's dick is so good it almost makes lady-Hades into the Lich King.


Tasty_Wall_Spagett

I love me that good pepperon


Lyrolepis

To keep it mythological but a little more obscure, why not [Laran](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laran) (the closest equivalent to Mars in Etruscan mythology)?


Not_Harv_anyway

Etruscan mythology feels like the Kirkland brand deities. "Oh, Odin and Zuez got lightenin'? Ours _all_ got lightenin'! You like Hercules? We got **Hercle**!"


FlowHuman

because etruscan mythology is bullshit


MolotovCollective

This hurts me inside because the Etruscans are the only major [pre-Indo-European](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pre-Indo-European_languages) civilization that survived long enough to leave significant information into their culture, mythology, and worldview, which gives us the greatest glimpses at what European culture might have looked like before the [Indo-European migrations](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indo-European_migrations), which are the ancestors of basically every other major European group from Celts, to Germanics, to Romans, to Greeks, to Britons, and even Scythians and Persians and Kurds. The Etruscans on the other hand are the cultural descendants of the [original farmers](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Early_European_Farmers) who migrated into Europe from the Middle East after the invention of agriculture, thousands of years prior to the later Indo-European migrations. What the Etruscans left behind, while limited, is indispensable to the study of history, archaeology, and anthropology. They absorbed a lot of Greek culture through proximity and trade, but likewise they spread a lot as well to Romans, like the god [Orcus](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orcus), who might seem minor but the name is the linguistic ancestor of many folklore concepts we know today like orcs and ogres, and is likely partly the inspiration for Grendel in Beowulf and by extension Tolkien’s invention of orcs. They’re also responsible for a lot of Greek myth reaching Rome, because a lot of it was spread through the Etruscans and then to Rome, rather than through direct Greek contact. Plus the Romans got the idea of gladiators from the Etruscans so I mean come on.


ChewbaccaHasMalaria

Huitzilopochtli, Aztec god of war


Zealousregent

Name with historical and culture meaning that has more than a milennia of history to it? Nah lets just call it Pepperoni Town 😂🤙🍕


triple-glazed-window

We won't get to name it, Whoever sponsors the Mars colony will name it. Will probably be called Facebook city.


Azulaang4ever

more like XAE-12 or some shit


NewtAgain

Muskcovy


[deleted]

Muskow


Speckfresser

Forever red


MrLanesLament

Have you gathered your 11d6 abrahectons of Mars wheat for the day, comrade?


Speckfresser

Of course, Comrade! I live to serve the Red Planet!


pornpiracypirate

Welcome to Pizza Planet!


timbuktu4425

Not Zuckersburg?


appleparkfive

WhatsAppalachia


S-WordoftheMorning

Chuck Palahniuk was spot on.


jessi428

The IBM Stellar Sphere, The Microsoft Galaxy, Planet Starbucks…


Crazy-Badger1136

Someone from London, Ontario or Cambridge, Massachusetts will ironically hate this idea.


RedShaun21

Newest England and it'll have a bar called Mars Bar.


Tasty_Wall_Spagett

The mars bar.. I tip my hat to you


SvenskBlatte

New New England?


BlackDante

No, that’ll be built over top of the current New England


moronic_programmer

Earth bar on Mars


Prozac4545

Veronica, Mars


ehsteve23

petition to replace the word "martian" with "marshmallow"


SquareWet

What’s a hmallow?


orphankittenhomes

2nd city: Keith 3rd city: Backup 4th city: Mr. Sparky


Muh2021account

Watney, mars


_ArcticApples_

Honestly, I think I like this one best.


Muh2021account

Andy Weir's The Martian really did have an effect on the public's interest in furthering science related to the red planet.


sorta_smart

Winner.


Arctelis

I was going to suggest Watneyville, but that works too.


catomi01

Underhill.


lethargicadvanced

At the moment I am rereading Red Mars by Robinson and am astonished how the technology described that is used by the first 100 doesn't feel unusual at all - like the glasses that are used to record and stream videos - wonder what kind of different read that novel was back in the nineties...


catomi01

I first read the series around 2005 or so, and that definitely struck me then...it was more advanced than what we had in common usage, but didn't seem out-of-reach. And (without spoiling things hopefully), this contributes to the story as their technology continues to advance...it makes it seem all the more real that it was starting at a very realistic, reachable point.


Langton_Ant

I had to scroll way too far to find this one. Philistines.


Sylph_uscm

What if it was already named Cydonia?


NK_1989

Opportunity, for two reasons. Most importantly, Opportunity was the name of the little rover that was supposed to last a total of ninety days but made it almost fourteen and a half years. Just landing the rover on the red planet is one of humanity’s single greatest achievements, and to have built it so well that it outlasted its original purpose by over a decade while providing stunning data to earth scientists, well, it’s enough to bring a tear to your eye. Secondly, I would name it opportunity because it’s humanity’s second chance. We have irreparably damaged our planet, maybe, just maybe, we’ll do better on Mars. So yeah, Opportunity. I think that would be a perfect name.


BomberPilot10

I was going to say this! I also think that the rover should be recovered and put on display in the city.


Hawkbats_rule

Xkcd's good ending?


InertialLepton

[For reference](https://i.imgur.com/VbKV9DF.jpg). Actually that was about Spirit, not opportunity, but close enough. [Original, unedited version here](https://xkcd.com/695/)


Tchrspest

On the contrary, I think all the rovers we've sent should be left exactly where they are. I dream of a world where their resting places are national parks and historically preserved places.


MrFoxHunter

And then in a thousand years people will call it Oppernitty or Portuna because town names change in weird ways.


-MazeMaker-

And the Mars national anthem will be O' Portuna


InertialLepton

Opportunity probably does work best as the name of a city but I think all of the rover names work. Spirit, Curiosity, Perseverance. All pretty good names. Edit: actually, as there's only 6 I feel I should touch on the other names. Sojourner was named after Sojourner Truth a black American woman, born into slavery but later an abolitionist and womens rights activist. Zhurong is named after a Chinese mytho-historical figure usually associated with fire and light, as Mars is called "the Planet of Fire" in China.


Ongo_Gablogian___

Pathfinder was the first Mars rover, so that makes the most sense to me for the name of the city.


relativelyfunkadelic

i do like Pathfinder as a city name. i think we should use the rovers chronologically for every new Martian city. Sojourner's prob my favorite, so i vote we use that as the first exodus shuttle name, as well.


arcosapphire

> We have irreparably damaged our planet, maybe, just maybe, we’ll do better on Mars. It's unlikely that Mars will ever be more livable for humans than Earth.


AsidK

Yeah I mean if we had the technology to make Mars liveable then we could just use that technology here on earth in any of the many extremely vast unlivable swaths of desert


Reliquat

It's also the name of the vilain's city in the Borderlands series


letterdonkey

Bob.


[deleted]

The city if Bob sounds good


hog_log2

Not the city of Bob, just Bob


OldBob10

Yes..?


pawiwowie

I understood that reference


no_di

Titan AE?


TheJesseClark

Underrated classic IMO


Thuryn

The soundtrack slaps. I love listening to Karma Slave while I'm lifting.


Username-xxx

I second Bob


teaqualizer

There will be a race to open the first Bob's Bugers.


PM-Me-Your-TitsPlz

Imagine being one of the first inhabitants of Bob and a bunch of amateur comedians keep messaging you "Send me Bob pics"


shwashwa123

Hey Bob


The_Bill_Brasky_

THE CITY OF TOWNSVILLE


violent_womble

5 cars have already been stolen, 3 people have been robbed and 6 people have ripped off centrelink.


10110101101_

I've been to Townsville, QLD. An actual real place in Australia.


ThrowRARAw

I can hear this comment.


HilariaBaldwnsAccent

I can smell the durries from here.


AgoraiosBum

Founded because it is the source of Chemical X


The_Bill_Brasky_

Thus, The Powerpuff Girls were born. Using their ultra-super powers. Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup have dedicated their lives to fighting crime and the forces of evil!


the_helping_handz

Dean Park Soundshell. Is it still there? (haven’t been to Tvlle, since late 90s)


The_Bill_Brasky_

It's the fictional setting of the Powerpuff Girls


jacobin17

Townsville is also an actual city in Queensland, Australia.


TransitoryTrader

Wendy’s


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Sir, this is the capital of Mars


tekorc

Just have my food ready, I’ll pick it up


honeypup

It’s ready now


fluffy_boy_cheddar

Well set it aside.


tekorc

And if it’s too cold, I send it back


giantqtipz

With the following motto "Wendy's nuts are on your chin"


Your_Street_Rat

Wen-deez nuts smack you in the face.


Murrayj99

Jonathan


just_peachy24

Lol why did this remind me of one of the Paul Rudd interview


violentfemme17

Now I have to go watch the Jason Segel Paul Rudd [interview](https://youtu.be/I4ix1HSzpWE)


TotallyAwesomeRacoon

Lol I thought the same thing


Morninglarke

Bradbury.


hoopsrule44

I personally like Asimov but this is a good pick too


cryptoengineer

Burroughs.


Remarkable-Win6763

We have to save Asimov for the first (probably orbiting) settlement of Jupiter or any one of it's moons.


weirdkid71

Clarke (as in Arthur C. Clarke, author of 2001: A Space Odyssey) would make more sense for that, don’t you think?


missmediajunkie

“Ask me, then, if I believe in the spirit of the things as they were used, and I'll say yes. They're all here. All the things which had uses. All the mountains which had names. And we'll never be able to use them without feeling uncomfortable. And somehow the mountains will never sound right to us; we'll give them new names, but the old names are there, somewhere in time, and the mountains were shaped and seen under those names. The names we'll give to the canals and mountains and cities will fall like so much water on the back of a mallard. No matter how we touch Mars, we'll never touch it. And then we'll get mad at it, and you know what we'll do? We'll rip it up, rip the skin off, and change it to fit ourselves.“


[deleted]

Coruscant


tektonnic

Newer York


elliold

New New York


J3553G

Mars Vegas


elbrentos

Nobody drove in new york, there was too much traffic


Dexaan

Neo Nova New York


PyrZern

Neo York


Stubborncomrade

Newest York


Todd_Wallnutz

Newest of the Yorks


palparepa

Last York.


Stubborncomrade

The quintessential York


Asaf51

New York (2)


tektonnic

I think if we are doing that we will have to go for York (3) or Jorvik (3)


Hunty2020ALT

Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu: Mars Edition holy #### this blew up


NSFAnythingAtAll

Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­gogery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysiliogogogoch, Mars


Batdude1609

I love seeing stuff about my tiny country


lorgskyegon

*NEW* Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­gogery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysiliogogogoch


MobbCheap

Translation “new city”


D3VASTATlON

X Æ A-12 jr


geraintm

How is that pronounced?


CrimsonKnightmare

Kyle


ToaSuutox

the jr is silent


i_should_be_coding

Yes.


Foloreille

Ex-Ash-a-twelve Musk


Dontmentionthyname

Ash, I think.


International-Ad3006

X Æ A-12 town


LostGundyr

Rome. The twin founders of earth’s Rome were sons of the god Mars. And it’s fucking Rome.


Pau_Zotoh_Zhaan

Nova Roma?


seanyseanerson

Call this one Reme.


LostGundyr

Blasphemy.


_Totorotrip_

Roma comes from Romulo In mars we could have Rome's sister based on Romulo's brother: Remo


101on

The uac


Alva14CR

Oh no


an00b_Gamer88

Oh yeah


an00b_Gamer88

Nekravol


Little_russian_man

“You can’t just blow a hole into the surface of mars!” -Some Robo Bitch


StoneTown

Time to make a portal to hell so we can chill out for a bit. Who wants to come?


flight419

BARSOOM.. Referring to the series of novels by Ed Rice Burroughs... the tedium of manifesting a city before anyone gets to even think about Martian pub games.. someone get me a Burrban


xampl9

I was thinking “Carterville”


zykthyr

I feel like those novels don't get enough love. If only the movie had been a hit so we could've seen a resurgence of popularity for them.


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Zodanga Got a certain quality to it


CrabbyBlueberry

Technically, Barsoom is the planet. Thark and Helium would be my choices for cities.


3choplex

New Ankh-Morpork.


Eternity_Incarnate

r/unexpecteddiscworld


CableTrash

Mick, Mars


Suspicious_Corgi5854

Is he still living?


R-R-M

Aresterra. As in land of Ares in Latin. It just sounds cool.


yawgmoft

Earth. So people have to say Earth, Mars.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LostOblivion64

I didn’t see this and commented the same thing lol


Cosmic_Playz1

Marsylvania


Spacebier

Marstucky


Garbage283736

Volta?


ChefDanG

RedRock


thecwestions

Sedona has entered the chat.


cyfermax

City-McCityFace


TheFriman

I was going to say Towny-McTownFace


MitchellsTruck

Marsy McMarsFace?


StrawberryDeathPie

Bruno


Butt3rflying

I only found this by sorting by controversial. Strange.


leo__bulero

Bradbury


Sleepdprived

I think the Martian cities should be named after sci-fi authors like Heinlen, Asimov's, and Vern.


steve49m

Ares


LeicaM6guy

After the first person to step foot on the planet, or the founding member of that city. Beyond that, after a national or planetary hero. No corporate names, no billionaires.


TheThirdLugia

mars city


Comfortable-Mouse409

Mars City, I like it


Tchrspest

Until we get a second city, that's exactly what I think people will be calling it. Then we'll have Mars City and New Mars City until the third pops up.


lordullr

Robinson. From Kim Stanley Robinson


grombleduke

Eris


Fedr_Exlr

Unfortunately there is already a dwarf planet named that


crazy-diam0nd

There's a Jupiter, Florida. Just sayin.


Dryversal

I like to say I’ve been to Jupiter for that one reason


Not_Harv_anyway

Hail Eris!


SpilledMilk-o_0

Titicaca


NineteenSkylines

Lakeless Titicaca.


IAmGrum

If they put it to a vote online, it will either be "Marsy-McMarsface", or "Hilterdidnothingwrong"....


pendletonskyforce

Matt Damon


littlemonmon97

Bowie, for the great alien himself


Aksds

Alexandria, make Alexander the Great ‘s empire span planets


NotAnIceBox

New earth


Consistent_Assist_78

I'll name that "Martes" and the second will be "Miercoles" hahaha


brothercuriousrat

Asimov


BrianLTU

Old Zealand Old York