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klassicSam

Wait there is a fourth guy who disagrees with all the above..... and still wants to fuck you.


Pronoes84

He calls you a booty call


CPAlexander

Is that also a Butt Dial?


Zaphodnotbeeblebrox

Yes


devonwood_drive

He calls you at 2am


ThePrinceOfMonsters

He is in your walls.


FlaccidUncle_

Did you mean an Uber?


ShineIll4609

But did he call you, late for dinner?


howzuraspen

That would be "closing time at the bar" guy


Zephandrypus

Yeah, that’s called “too horny for standards”. And he may even settle for a brojob.


The-dude-in-the-bush

9/10 dentists agree with your comment


Grimacepug

Unless he's the husband, then one of the 3 answers are good for, "Do I look fat in this dress?"


mdonaberger

Sounds like an incel. "Women are horrible creatures who only want to manipulate men! Also, why don't women wanna have sex with me?!"


Cazumarzu

No, not really. Incels actually have impossibly high standards. Thus the "2/10, elbows too pointy" meme.


mdonaberger

Yeah. Impossibly high standards breeds this sense of hatred and bitterness that really makes them insult women as soon as they meet as some kind of self fulfilling thing. Incels are terrible to deal with cus they just leak this battery acid onto anyone they meet, especially women.


TheGooOnTheFloor

When he says you look *fabulous* then he wants to fuck your brother.


RuafaolGaiscioch

Let’s structure this all into a better total. When a guy calls you hot, he’s looking at your body. When he calls you pretty, he’s looking at your face. When he calls you beautiful, he’s looking at your heart. When he calls you fabulous, he’s looking at your brother.


Avieshek

+ if he calls you ugly, that’s true love.


IamImposter

Can confirm. Am ugly. Never been loved. So can't confirm that part.


Avieshek

Just a question: Do you love yourself?


Glocks10mike

No I hate myself. Next question.


hapiidadii

What's the square root of pi?


Glocks10mike

One and some change. Next question.


IntrovertAlien

What's in your coat left pocket?


fenringsfavor

Handses?


blasterdude8

Omg you guys have pockets?!?


altaykilic

my wallet, a pair of wool gloves, some coins and my glasses if I feel like I'll need it that day. next.


Evil_Creamsicle

Also a one and some change.


Beersie_McSlurrp

Capital One


SureWhyNot5182

Will you talk to me about your cars extended warranty?


Glocks10mike

Fuck you. *click* Next question.


thetelepathetictwin

What is the air speed velocity of a flying sparrow?


SpitefulBitch

May I wish you a happy cake day?


halviy

Silly human. Pies are round!


RECOGNI7ER

But how do you cut a pie into eight slices by making only three cuts?


The_DaHowie

Pecan


mankiller27

You're not IamImposter, you imposter!


rwurgley

At least twice a day…


abhijitd

Every day. Sometimes twice a day.


Pink_Flash

If you can't love yourself, how you gonna love anybody else?


carriager

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance”


Law_Kitchen

With yourself.


BeatitLikeitowesMe

I love hand


Ralkahn

Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying you love them?


ScabbySnake

Orgasm=love


saulbq

I love you.


20_Sided_Death

You know the old song? "If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife." Edit: In the 60's (I think)Jimmy Soul covered an even older song. https://youtu.be/Y1ZJiBHh-Yw


Draen_Facula

Die Antwoord does that also.


booom_roasted_

If he calls you ugly it just means he wants to fuck you with the lights off


ShowMeTheTrees

"Beauty is only a lightswitch away"


Dexter7x

Marry him


kalirion

Neggers must be the most loving people on the planet.


amurica1138

Maybe you want to clarify what you mean with that term?


kalirion

[XKCD explaining it](https://xkcd.com/1027/).


Evil_Creamsicle

Yep, don't panic... it's not the thing you thought it was


eggplant_avenger

I need to know more about the string and stairs


KingoftheMongoose

When he calls you maybe, he's looking at your friend.


existential_plastic

No, that's when he's looking at Carly Rae Jepsen.


kazooboy_official

Hey I just met you


Mortirolo_Koppenberg

And this is crazy


Jenoma89

But, here’s my number


Kabc

I’d add in a “cute” line too. When a guy calls you hot, he’s looking at your body. When he calls you pretty, he’s looking at your face. **When he calls you cute, he’s looking at your personality.** When he calls you beautiful, he’s looking at your heart. When he calls your fabulous, he’s looking at your brother.


okayokaycancan

When he says you have a lot of personality, he's looking at your chest.


4DimensionalToilet

When he says you have ***HUGE*** tracts of land, he’s looking at your huge… tracts of land.


JustANeek

When he says you have huge tracts of land he may be trying to set up a marriage with the king of England


I_can_pun_anything

When he says he loves your eyes, he's looking at your chest


rey_lumen

My chest is down here!


Kabc

When he says you must workout, he is looking at dat booty.


Xalon0101

Which is correct


LevPornass

If he calls you refreshing, he bought the jar of farts you sold and still wants to fuck you.


Zephandrypus

Nah, he’s looking at your vocal cords.


OGPrinnny

Pretty sure heart and personality are synonymous in this saying. Cute would refer more to their stature.


JSmellerM

Imho cute refers to the face.


Kabc

While I understand what you are saying, I whole heartedly disagree


rey_lumen

The longer it gets the less funny it is, imo. 3 lines and the punchline are just the right amount.


JSmellerM

When he calls you nice he calls you ugly.


gab205

I love this better lol


papabear_kr

r/thirdsentencefabulous


TchallaKingofWakanda

Haha I once said to a woman she looked fabulous. Only because I didn't want her to think I was the other three guys. Even though I did wanted to have sex with her.


BIBLICALDIARRHEA666

This deserves more upvotes


A_plural_singularity

Alas I only one vote to give


chirs5757

Comments for the real jokes


not_lurking_this_tim

And if he says Daaamn, he's looking at your ass


kirasama66

Or maybe he's into dam and canals


BudIsWiser1

Or damn anals


SinisterStrat

What if he is into dykes?


TravelingBard

Whoa there, boss! The preferred expression is "alternative lifestyle dams."


trentsteel77

Maybe he is a she and she’s talking to Becky


not_lurking_this_tim

Oh. My. God. Look at her butt. It's just so... Out there..


I_can_pun_anything

Or chest


playerwonagain

If he doesn't call.... You ugly


573IAN

But, he likely still wants to fuck you.


PheIix

I thought that goes without saying :P


goblomi

After last call


iced_hero

I wouldn't say he wants to...more like he still would smash, because, you know, a hole is a hole.


MasterFubar

> If he doesn't call.... he gay There's nothing about ugly that cannot be fixed by switching off the lights.


tearsofadream

It doesn't work if she's outside howling at the moon !


jeegte12

She'll come back to bed. Trust me


Zephandrypus

Unless she obese and/or smelly.


Wags43

My beautiful wife has a hot sister with a pretty dog


thisisa_fake_account

You beast


TheGreatDingALing

Hey fucko, it's called inter-species erotica.


The_Thrill17

One time I fucked a snowman


Everyman2814

Still gay


DontTreadOnBigfoot

Calm down, Kinky Kelly


krazya420

Thought I was on r/im14andthisisdeep for a second


lukesvader

More like /r/Boomerhumour


DemonicWolf227

r/imboomerandthisisdeep Edit: Holy shit, it's real!


sonic_couth

Beauty lies behind the boobies.


zbeezle

I find the most erotic part of the woman to be the boobies.


Iam-Nothere

Have you ever felt beauty? Whenever I try to feel it, I get a face slap


gagga_hai

Beautiful


WuTouchdmyweenie

r/titlegore


Muchado_aboutnothing

Seriously, has this person ever used a computer before


blacksopsfile

This is suppose to be jokes not facts.


assbeegay

its only funny because its tru


Upst8r

This was my thoughts.


Coloted

When he calls you Gary, he’s mistaken you for his beloved pet snail.


divingrose77101

Or his boyfriend.


[deleted]

[удалено]


panicake

[Based on my assessment, i think you're a bot](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/6imnad/-/dj7i0at)


awesomeflowman

Wow literally their whole comment history has exactly 1 typo per comment


Arneis93

And when she calls you sexy she's looking at your wallet.


SquirrelyAsNutz

And when a guy calls you cute, he wants to fuck you but is worried you're underage.


Zephandrypus

When a guy calls you cute, he’s looking at your ID.


Deadlybutterknife

*Epstein has entered the chat*


PerplexedPancakes

\*Overaged


Skyhazard7

When he says you’re stunning, he wants Ryan Reynolds.


fersur

if he calls you Annie, he is just asking if you are okay?


Psyenze

When he calls you exquisite, he is looking to et you.


djazzie

Where’s the joke?


SHIZA-GOTDANGMONELLI

I'm shocked this joke has upvotes lol


I_can_pun_anything

I'm not, that's half of r/funny


henryletham

We don't do jokes in here anymore.


djazzie

Apparently


HeyKid_HelpComputer

It's like a worse version of "find a woman who can cook, a woman who can clean, and a woman who is a good in bed... and make sure those 3 women never meet" joke but also makes no sense at all. I don't get why this got upvoted.


zeemona

There is none


lukesvader

HA HA! 😒


skullcrusher2271

When a guy call you at night he's horny


BaoBou

What if he calls you a cunt?


existentialism91342

He still wants to fuck you but also wants you to shut the fuck up.


Cloaked42m

Just choked on my coffee... no lies found here.


Skwareblox

He's Australian


ravi_maverick

And wants to fuck you


Evil_Creamsicle

But upside-down


QuietPace9

Bum sex


ElGleiso

That's bad.


appledaveon

But it comes with a free Frogurt!


Dawg1636

That's good!


appledaveon

The Frogurt is also cursed…


NeedsTheBeach

Before I even saw the punch line I thought "and if he says all that he just wants to fuck you!"


Neoixan

I dont really care that they all want it as long as theyre honest about it and not just being "nice guys" xD


MysticDaedra

I try so hard to not look at women's "assets" to be nice, that I think all my lady friends think I'm gay


Slw202

Woman here. Yeah. We know.


jojoblogs

Bro you need to give us all some space. Mostly to those commas, though.


iarsenea

This joke sucks so much


shouldve_wouldhave

My thought reading it: where is the joke?


Schmackerich

When a girl says you're ugly, she is jealous. When a guy says you're ugly, he likes you. If a kid says you're ugly, you're ugly.


ld20r

Hahaha that’s a good one and very true!


rickethrolleth

Is this meant to be funny?


TeamRedundancyTeam

This sub is the most consistent at producing content that isn't even remotely funny. This one is barely even a joke. It's like drunk boomer humor at best.


ShowMeTheTrees

Hey don't blame boomers! We had nothing to do with it!


Wow00woW

You don't know that. You usually do have something to do with it if it sucks.


josephgomes619

This doesn't look like boomer humour either.


TanookiPhoenix

Me, an ugly bitch: bullet dodged


Holiday-Pizza8444

-Me harvesting organs illegally, “beautiful”


Valiante

Paging /u/commahorror - op wants your mantle.


EGRIFF93

When a guy calls you a taxi, he's looking at your empty bottles of alcohol and the sick on your chin.


MonkeDrip1

If he calls you handsome then he wants to fuck your boyfriend


Shango876

This is bullcrap.


Alpha_TW0

Using a , doesn't mean you don't need to use a space too. Also maybe full stops once in a while


Shade_Xaxis

Just wondering how many times you have told your mom and sister that they look pretty or beautiful.


ASTRO99

Thats a fact not a joke.


LolindirLink

~~F~~actually both a fact and a joke. Fact.


Diligent_Isopod_3211

It's funny because it's true!


CP319

I thought this comment was so nice. So much nasty, negative & hateful stuff floating around.


Imloving8

Any chance of you all doing a foursome...???


thejamesasher

what about when he calls you 50 times a day?


rantottcsirke

He wants to talk about your car's extended warranty.


dinosaur_from_Mars

When a guy calls you, he might be trying to confirm your account number and social security number.


Goodpie2

https://www.grammarly.com/blog/comma/


Bangerznmechaaaa

And when you think a guy is looking at yours tits, he’s looking at your heart


deathlok30

r/technicallythetruth


jawshoeaw

This is kinda r/showerthoughts


[deleted]

There could be a fourth option where he wants to be you!


Smithers888

When a guy calls you Beautiful,he's looking at your heart ...because it's an excuse to stare at your tits.


JimmyHavok

LPT: If a woman smiles when you look at her tits...you've got a chance.


Anamika76

What about gorgeous?


lPickleJuicel

And when a guy calls you thicc, he looking at that ass


birdyroger

This is, unfortunately, right on.


tuhn

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, MEN RIGHT? WOMEN RIGHT? HAHAHAHA...


Industrialpainter89

Yeah why do you think girls get so defensive about compliments from randos? They know lol


CheyVegasx

Seriously! It's all trying to tell us this as if women didn't already know hahaha


wonthymething

Honestly, can we not with these jokes?


AcidBathVampire

I've said this for years: just because a guy will fuck you does not mean he thinks you're beautiful (or hot, or even cute.) He thinks "you're there."


Trips-Over-Tail

Wheen a guy calls you into the office, he's looking at your performance rating.


MYKCARR

If he calls you the next day he is a keeper


vilidj_idjit

Nah, he just wants to fuck again.


zamfire

Deer women, when he says hot, he is talking about your venison, when he says pretty, he is referring to your marbling, and when he says beautiful, he is talking about your antlers.