My hilariously heinous middle school makeup routine

My hilariously heinous middle school makeup routine


Oh god I just remembered my first make up routine around 13 or 14. My literal goal was to look like a porcellaine doll. I slapped on so much foundation, concealer and powder that you see nothing of my natural complexion. Then black eyeliner and the maybelline great lash, wich was my holy grail. That was it. My face was just one plain colour which was way to yellow and way to pale.


Ngl, if it weren't so yellow that'd be a pretty great Goth look.


Omg YES. I started pretty heavy on the makeup wearing in like 6th(ish) grade, and I went balls to the wall with foundation, concealer, liner, mascara- all the shit that no child in 6th grade, especially one who isn't even close to hitting puberty, needs to heap on every day. Also this was the 90s so formulas weren't great, color choices were very limited, and tutorials were nonexistent except for like, step by step tutorials in Seventeen magazine. So I would take my liquid-to-powder compact of CoverGirl, smear that on, conceal my "spots" and then go over it with powder. Layer on my 3-in-1 eyeshadow palette with the guide of where to place colors, add probably too much liner and mascara, and top it off with lipstick. My aunt saw my "routine" when I was visiting and she very matter of factly asked me why I wore all that stuff. I was super offended at first, as preteens are prone to be, but in the long run it helped because it planted the seed that the shit I was smearing all over my face was unnecessary. I do wish there was just one pic in existence tho, just to cringe at! My love of makeup never died, but it did transition into a love of bright and loud eye looks but a very bare face, because I don't like the feeling of full face at all. You live, you look ugly, and you learn :)


I also started playing with makeup in middle school in the 90's and if you did not have one of those round Cover Girl compacts, kept in the back pocket of your Bongo jean shorts, you just weren't cool. The powder was always a little too orange and really emphasized any unfortunate facial hair you may have had but it was a must have. That and whatever that clear lip gloss with the roller ball applicator that tasted like cherries was.


Kissing potion?




I was only a small child in the 90s but this was still so relevant and true in the early 2000s as well and I feel attacked because I was so uncool back then for not having this


thank you for this response. i am almost 40 and was just having a 'foundation match' crisis. i had recently decided to start wearing full face makeup and was on the hunt for the perfect shade of foundation. since the beginning of the year i have tried probably five or six different brands/formulas/shades. this past weekend i just decided with the help of my husband that i just need a skincare routine and eye makeup, sometimes lips too but i don't need all the face stuff. i posted listings on poshmark to declutter all my foundation, powder, primer etc and am now back to just a nude face. the thing that's ironic about this for me is that with the exception of this last few months, i have never felt the need to cover my face with foundation.


Yes!!! The 3 in 1 eye shadow that tells you where to put it! Or the eye shadow for whichever eye color you had ( that also had the guide where to put it!) ​ My makeup products are a little better, unfortunately my skills... not so much :( it really makes me so sad, I feel like I just don't have that "good at makeup" gene, that's my excuse anyway lol ​ thanks for the nostalgia!! ah to be a 6th grader armed with too much makeup <3


Oh man, I am loving these stories. My girls are both in college and neither one of them is big into makeup. I’m the 45 year old mom with the blinding highlight, glitter and the big swishy lashes. My youngest is very into low key Asian beauty looks and my oldest is just very natural and outdoorsy. Looking back, I was pretty low key at their ages too. I don’t really remember my mum wearing much makeup at all so anything I picked up was on my own. I trained with MAC in the 90s and that’s when I really got into it myself.


I’m probably twice your age and used to routinely wax off roughly 67% of my brow hair. Fortunately, I’m one of the lucky ones whose brows at least partially recovered from the late 90s. Then I had a phase in my early 20s where I was bleaching them to try and get a better color match to my dyed hair so I just walked around with brassy orange brows for six months or so. My absolute worst moment was that after my fair ass self spent 3 months in a tanning bed leading up to prom, I did not even consider changing my foundation color. (Side note: I don’t know that Cover Girl liquid came in a shade near what I actually needed: “Your skin doesn’t tan. This is a burn!”). I used to be so proud of the fact that I knew to blend my foundation down my neck in an era when everyone stopped at their jaw line until I saw those photos of my ghostly white face and neck fading down to my pinkish-red upper chest and shoulders. 🤦🏼‍♀️ I fully appreciate that in the modern era, I can do trial runs and then immediately take photos to see if I’ve fucked up or not. Some of y’all are just never going to know the indignity of the film camera days. 😆


My mom REFUSED to let me pluck my eyebrows until halfway through high school out of fear that I’d overdo it and end up with the skinny ones she has as a result of her teen years. She’d take me to get them waxed whenever I wanted to keep them neat which I was fine with because only the cool girls at my school got their brows done professionally. I still thank her because I know I would have ended up with pencil thin brows to match my powder blue eyeshadow.


Thats one of the reasons why microblading is so popular right now, people used to thin so much their eyebrows that they never got back to where they were, now they have realized that it makes them look old and isnt apar with the trends, so they are microblading them back. Though, i still see some your girls or women, doing this, it makes them look so old, or those spermy or nike eyebrows, i cant. Thats why i learned how to design my own brows and never allowed someone to touch them.


You guys are all going to cringe but I wasn’t allowed to wear makeup until I was 16 so I found other alternatives to use. I kid you not, I put nail polish on my eyelids as eyeshadow. 😬😬😬😬😬 yes- it burned


I had a friend who would use white out on her eyelids and then color over it with gel pens as eyeliner. I mean in a way she figured out primer to make colors pop, but...that cannot have been healthy.


This made me belly laugh.


When my school picture day was approaching in seventh grade, I made a plan to powder my oily face with flour. I wasn't allowed to wear anything except lip gloss, but when my mom caught me with flour on my face for practice before picture day, she gave me her pressed powder. You mentioning nail polish reminds me of something else I wasn't allowed to do, which was paint my nails before getting my period. That's right, my mom made a rule that I couldn't paint my nails (or get my ears pierced) until nature deemed I was a woman.


I would wear Dream matte mousse, no filling in the eyebrows...for the longest time my mom only let me wear blue eyeliner no mascara (??) then I would sneak black mascara and she was PISSED. When I moved on from that I don't think I used any type of powder...but I would use exclusively only the white and black shades from my KVD eyeshadow palettes...the small thin ones. and I would attempt to do winged liner and I though I looked scene but I only looked a mess No blush or bronzer..HAD to be pale.


I would wear Dream Matte Mousse caked over with a pressed powder foundation. Instant Age Rewind Concealer because I've always had bad dark eye circles my whole life. No blush, bronzer, or eyebrows, just like you. Pretty much no lip color either. Black eyeliner in a big-ass cat eye around my whole eye. Topped it all off with a black, choppy scene hairstyle that I could never get to stay up as big as I wanted, and necessitated constant teasing.


Thats so weird, like she allowed you to wear blue eyeliner and no mascara, i though at least it would be the other way around. Oh girl lots of us had the emo phase trust me. I just know how to do better makeup now.


Hi, thanks for the story 😀 can you tell me How old is sixth grade? We don't have the same school system here soita difficult to relate


About 12


I didn't get into makeup until recently, but I always loved having my makeup done you know on girls nights when we were doing each other's makeup. now when I was in high school that is once everybody suddenly went into a huge dark eyebrows. And an eyebrow routine was what everybody wanted. My friends had thin blonde eyebrows. I have huge thick dark groucho marx eyebrows. there was a sky that I liked and I was going to go see him and we were at camp and they offered to do my makeup which was great. They were really good so all of it was really good, except they did a whole eyebrow makeup routine for barely their eyebrows on my huge eyebrows. My entire face the whole night was eyebrows and I didn't want to tell them that there was any aspect I didn't like so that whole night I went out with my whole face being eyebrows


The amount of heinous icicle blue cream eyeshadow I used to wear... I can’t remember the brand bc I’m old and HS was 20 years ago. But man, it was bad.


Yeah, I had the stack of little eyeshadow pots that would all screw together. Various shades of blue and one with just silver glitter to top it with. It’s so cringey to think about now 20+ years removed.


I remember those!!


Yessss! I got mine from the Delia’s catalog the ONE time my parents let me order from it. Man, I thought I was just the coolest


Wow the Delia’s catalog, what a blast from the past. My plus-sized self so wanted to wear everything from Delia’s at age 13 but gigantic bell bottoms aren’t exactly flattering when you’re potato shaped. 😂


I hope that you rocked them with plenty of body glitter


Was it Jane cosmetics or Covergirl Street Wear? I used to dig that look in middle school. Frosty blue eye shadow... Pale shimmery lip gloss....


Same although I alternated between blue and green eyeshadow from Almay. I also wore Cover girl and NYC makeup. Bright pink blush, no brow product, shimmery bronzer all over my face, and heavy pencil eyeliner.


Saaaame. I loved the shimmery icy blue in high school - mine also had white, vibrant purple, and light/bright pink. Great color pallet. Hot Topic brand. Oh yeah, baby.


I had one of those four pan revlon cream eyeshadow palettes and always went for the blue and black ones


In the mid-00s, colored mascaras were all the rage, so my mom bought my sister and me mascara that matched our eye colors for easter or something. I got brown, but my very fair sister got a dark blue. It wouldn't have been bad at all, except that at the time, she hated putting anything near her eye -- even the mascara wand. To this day, I cackle when I think about my sister and the floating blue dots in front of her eyes. For the sake of fairness, I'll mention that my poor mom was in charge of getting my makeup done for a middle school play I was in. Stage makeup is already thick, but my mom didn't own blush -- just bronzer or something like it. I remember taking one look in the mirror, yelling, "I look like I have a sunburn!" and racing to the bathroom, sobbing, to wash it all off. This was before the age of YouTube tutorials for me, and my mom lived on a farm growing up, so it's not like she even had magazines to learn. ... I should send my mom flowers for trying so hard for us.


Please do, moms deserve so much love.


> I cackle when I think about my sister and the floating blue dots in front of her eyes. I just lost myself, that shit is too much, to imagine that, oh boy =D I was on performance stuff and to this day i cringe, the amount of bronzer AND glitter, can you remember back in the late 90s, early 2000 when glitter was part of any makeup routine...god.


Omg the glitter... The ice blue frozen unicorn eye glitter shadows... The lip glosses that made you look like you'd kissed a jar of it after eating a candy apple...


I still use CG mink eyeshadow. It’s actually pretty shade. Your story is hilarious! Thanks for sharing.


This is triggering a memory- I believe I DID have the Mink shade and LOVED IT. Wasn’t it like a medium shimmery brown with maybe like bronze undertones? I also had a really pretty champagne shade in those times that I never got over. I now use the urban decay Sin shade to fill that champagne need.


Mink reminds me a lot of the MAC shade All That Glitters


I think I still have rimmel stay matte pressed powder jammed deep into my pores from how many layers of it I put on throughout my entire middle school experience.


Not even gonna lie- I have it on my face right now as I am typing LMAO


I still stand by it as a quality product! it’s just my use of layering it and then washing my face at night with baby shampoo was questionable to say the least.


I wasn't allowed to wear makeup until I was 17. My "allowable" products were clear lip gloss and lip balm. So, I circumvented this by applying lip gloss to my eyelashes like mascara. Pretty sure I put it on my eyelids too (because who doesn't want shiny eyelids? Not even sparkly, just shiny.) Red-tinted chapstick was my blush. I got away with this for approximately two months before my mom caught on.


Christ, this is bringing back cringey af memories from my high school years (starting around 2007). I had a special kind of hate for foundation because my mom tried to push it on me so much to help cover my acne. So I pretty much never wore it. However, I would use the harshest face wash I could find, pick my face, and then treat all my break outs with straight rubbing alcohol (my moisture barrier just shuddered). I legitimately don’t think I used a moisturizer on my face until college. You can imagine what my skin texture was like. Then if some pimples were really bad, I might try to dab some shitty color corrector or concealer on them. For some reason, the only eyeliner I wore was this purple almay shit. I think my mom wouldn’t let me wear black because she said it was trashy or something. And I would only bring it halfway across my lash line, stopping around where my pupil was. I would do top and bottom like that. And then sometimes I would add mascara. And the idea of nothing at all on my face except that terribly applied purple eyeliner and no mascara makes me want to die on the inside now. That was it. That was the whole terrible, half assed thing. Obliterated acne riddled skin that I never moisturized and shitty purple eyeliner.


Oh god, the memory of scrubbing my face with the st. Ives apricot scrub, then scrubbing again with a max strength stridex pad, wondering why I was still breaking out. All of my friends were convinced that moisturizer was only for dry skin and using it on oily skin would just make you greasier so I didn’t use any until I was 22....


Started getting into makeup when I was sixteen. This light gold eyeshadow from MAC was my fave, or another gold from Hot Topic. Thick liquid liner covering half my eye, crayon in the water line, one coat of Great Lash. And I stole my moms mauve lipstick. That’s it, that was the look lol


Oh in high-school I would apply powder foundation to very poorly moisturized skin probably without primer, full racoon eyes, and plucked my eyebrows to a pencil thin line.


Off-shade dream matte mousse and roll-on glitter. I’ll let you guess the year.






Yes! Haha. Oh, Bath and Body Works roll-on glitter. How did we ever survive school dances and trips to the mall without you?


I started getting pretty bad acne in about the 6th grade but my parents wouldn’t let me wear makeup. “quote quote”. I say that because every morning when my mom was down stairs cooking breakfast, I would sneak into her room and put on her foundation. It looked freaking terrible and was several shades too dark, I had no idea how to blend it but somehow my mom thankfully never mentioned it to me. I think she knew I was just self conscious and wanted to hide my acne, not trying to look 30 at 13. Eventually she took me to the Clinique counter in the mall and got me my own that was properly shade matched lol. Finally in 7th grade she let me buy eye shadow, which I immediately bought a single shade of pretty bright coral pink and wore it every damn day. It also looked terrible but I felt like such a boss when I matched my pink eye shadow with my pink shirt. Thank you for that terrible but funny memory of such a cringe time😂


Damn thats quite an expensive brand too, shes a good mom for doing so, but i hope she also took you to a dermatologist to at least help you get better.


In like sixth grade, I would put a harsh line of dark brown eyeshadow on my crease, no primers or concealers. then, I would put a white shimmer on the lid. The next step us to slap on a thiccc layer of black eyeliner on the top lash line. Then layer on that crusty mascara like there is no tomorrow. Then, I would take a spooly brush and roll it through a shimmery brown shade that was way too dark for me, and brush it around. the worst part? I would take the brightest pink lipstick in the universe, and put so much on. I even dramatically overlined my lips with it.


Yup, I was one of the first girls to start wearing eyeliner and mascara. But I didn’t use waterproof mascara, so when I yawned and my eyes watered the mascara would run, and then the eyeliner would run because I have monolids and had no idea how to put on eye makeup properly with them. So between the two I had TERRIBLE “bags” under my eyes or raccoon eyes, or both


I used to wear eyeliner and mascara, im pretty sure they were waterproof because i never bought anything other. I had to walk to catch the bus or walk for 30min to go to school, that meant in any weather, well, it wasnt cold but i just walked for 2min to suddenly rain starting to pour all over me, i didnt had an umbrella either, my makeup started to run down my face from how hard the rain was till the point i couldnt see shit, this lasted me a couple of seconds till i knew i had to go back home, had to skip school that day too.


this is my very first 13yr old selfs go to routine step 1 a foundation that was 2shades to dark all over my face(applied with hands obviously) step2 apply an unholy amount or loose setting powder all over my face(I have very dry skin I think you can imagine how it looked) step 3 black eye shadow applied on and under my eyelid and black eyeliner in the waterline stay 4 mascara, so much mascara... step 5 a red mary Kay lipstick my mum gave me and then I bought my first lipstick that was a dark purple/burgundy colour you couldn't tell me anything I was convinced I looked amazing!


My early experience with makeup was in the early nineties, and we KNOW how wild the colors were then. I remember going to a Mary Kay party and doing my grandma's makeup. They gave index cards with instructions and like a basic how to on it, and I did the damn thing. My poor grandma looked like an 80s hooker, but the placement was SPOT ON. By the time I was buying my OWN makeup, it was later 90s, and all I would use was brown. Do you know how hard it was ( and still can be, to be real) to find mascara that isn't some variation of Black As My Teenage Angst, or Dark, Like My Midwest Upbringing? I am pretty fair, and while black and really dark looks good and super dramatic, I am looking for something a little less...harsh. So I have turned to eyebrow pencils. God bless the early aughts and teens and their brow obsession. I escaped the sperm brow of the nineties, but now that I am getting older, my brows are getting blonder. Oh well. We live, we learn. I also learned how to do makeup with a hooded eye, and damn. Mind. Blown.


My experimenting with makeup in the beginning was wild to say the least. I would wear thick black eyeliner on my waterline (which looked terrifying to say the least). Another time I got a shimmery bronzing powder and put that crap all over my face and somehow thought I looked acceptable and natural. I would pack on red blush that would give any clown a run for their money. Needless to say my beginning years of makeup were rough and I learned a lot of things not to do 😂.


I honestly didn't start wearing makeup until I was in high school(2011) just because of personal preferences. I only stuck with retractable eyeliner on my waterline and the maybelline falsies mascara (that purple tube) and then around 2013 / 2014 I started doing gel liner on my lid and flicked it out because I couldn't figure out a wing and using a black loose eyeshadow and a silver / white loose eyeshadow applied and blended with a q tip, might I add. 2016 was my rough year for makeup because I got more into it and decided to start using foundation and concealer for my redness and what not and started with an Avon BB cream that was too dark for me 😭 and did the old concealer all over the entire face look with a powder that was too dark as well so I always looked orange and this was before I learned about undertones. But, hey! I started learning how to do wings that looked decent! It took me about 1.5 years to learn more and not look like a mess 25/8.


Oh god. In 2002 I was in middle school. My routine was to smear on the cream to powder black cover girl stuff. Nothing else. Then I would do eyeliner all the way around using some NYC 99 cent garbage. Then great lashes Maybelline for mascara. Nothing else except maybe some lipsmackers in vanilla frosting. But I would immediately lick it off.


In high school, my thing was Revlon skin lights tinted moisturizer followed by the skin lights loose powder. I’d then cover girl pressed powder in tawny (one of their darkest colors) and use it as a bronzer, obscenely thick. I had the standard thin, 90’s brow that’s never grown back. I would do L’Oréal loose powder eyeshadow in a white silver or sometimes too with wet n’ wild silver loose glitter (usually only if i was clubbing). Physicians formula had a bomb liquid eyeliner and I used maybelline full n’ soft mascara. I had 3 lip choices- a super thick wet n’ wild clear gloss, nasty taupe lipgloss and lipstick, or line my lips with a natural pinkish color by wet n’ wild and fill in with mark kay sugar n’cream frosty pale lipgloss. I was a whole look.


Clinique acne solutions foundation in whatever color that lady thought I was at the time, applied with fingers of course. I had PENCIL think brows. But to bring them out more (even though my hair is black????) I would use my mascara over them and then comb them out with a clean spoolie. I'm telling you I predicted the future of eyebrows 😂. Eyeliner in the darkest black in the best damn wing my high school has EVER seen. And mascara from who the heck knows. That's it😂 pale and no brows. Just wings and a face


Maybeline dream mouse shade orange. All the shades were orange. Proactive acne concealer in orange. Because all the shades were orange. Sparkly gold and green eyeshadow. Black stick eyeliner that I took a lighter to the tip, smudged way deep into the waterline. That lime-green-and-neon-pink mascara. Lip smackers topped with the goopiest shiniest lip gloss from Claire’s. And I never left the house without earrings that matched my make up and my outfit


My mom gave me some of her old makeup when I was about 13 or 14, and told me the (very) basics. My foundation was never quite right for me because of my oily skin so it never stuck (didn't know primer was a thing). I only used light shimmers or light brown on my eyes for some reason, and I was afraid of putting mascara on my bottom lashes?? I'm 17 now and am pretty good at it all now, and I don't think my mom ever let me leave the house looking terrible, I just had some odd choices haha


Omg these are all hilarious. Using my fingers, I would smear the lightest shade they made of Clinique tinted moisturizer/foundation all over my face, turning it 3 shades too yellow. Obviously I would pack a powder onto that next, highlighting my dry and bumpy skin. Packing tons of dark eyeshadow on with my fingers, lining the crap out of my eyelid, and topping it off with a lash primer and too many layers of Great Lash.


I was in 7th/8th grade in the early 2000’s to set the scene. I would put a cheap cream eye shadow just on the lids, then stick loose glitter makeup on there. I used mascara and also put glitter gel on other parts of part face. I’d top off this incredible look by putting those fake Swarovski crystals on my face, usually one at the inner and one at the outer corners of my eyes. I walked into school looking like an actual disco ball FOR WHAT?


Omg yes 😫I remember when i was 14 I started watching Blair Fowler and I wanted to really get into makeup so I remember my mom taking me to target and buying all the makeup to try to copy Blair 😂 But I would use sooo much eyeliner and no primer just slapped on foundation with makeup sponges


Omg I so relate with the dollar store makeup... I used to draw my eyeliner on so thick - like filled it in a half an inch BELOW my eyes. I was going thru an emo phase and I remember telling my mom and sister “this isn’t a phase I’m going to do my makeup like this forever” 😬😬😬


Oh boy, we have all been there. When i was around 13, i started to play with my moms old ass makeup, i would never use it for school tho, i applied some greeny eyeshadow because hey, i have green eyes, can you tell? =D Or use a white eyeliner because everybody was using too and dont know why i though it looked pretty. Then like a normal teenager in 2005, eye pencil in the lower waterline, that shit would run out like a beast and looked awful, specially if you didnt wear mascara with it. Well after a couple of years i returned to avril, she was my muse and inspiration...you know where this is going...well i didnt had racoon eyes, i just started to do my liner on my upper part, nothing fancy, actually it was awful, i have hooded eyes and i couldnt get it on to look ok, aaaand i stole the eyepencil from my sis. Then i started to get my stach, you know, some liquid liner, mascara and a couple of dark and gold eyeshadows. I would wear my eyeliner everyday to school, if i didnt had time, i would retouch the liner i already had because i slept with makeup on. I ditched the lower liner though. It was when i started to do makeup as an artist, but i struggled so much with my eyes, and looking back i was such a newbie, plus, eyeliner looking like bullhorns. Im 28 now and i can say that my skills are pretty good, but god, the gold ass shadow with dark liner all around.




No its not!!!!


Oh god when I first started wearing makeup I was in middle school and just got whatever was at the drugstore. I’m extremely pale and used to wear foundation and concealer that looked orange on me. I also never used blush or bronzer but I went heavy on the mascara


Hahaha! Well, I will say one thing, OP. From this experience you definitely got a head start, at least. While you were getting started with this routine in middle school you got better with time. So by the time highschool hit your peers were just starting so you were the best at it by the time that happened, lol. By the way, was this in the late 2000's? Like, 2007-2012 where eyeliner was a rly big thing


My mom was always pretty supportive about me trying makeup, but I have one memory that still embarrasses me to this day. I begged my mom to take me to the mac counter and I ended up getting a mineralized skin finish (essentially a highlighter, but in 2004 they didn't use that term). The lady said it was good to be used all over the skin. So the next day I slathered that shit on like it was powder foundation. All my mom said was "wow honey you look so shiny" and I was like you know it! And trudged off to school where people gave me weird looks all day


Midnight blue prestige eyeliner pencil and a sorta matching Neutrogena liquid foundation with the pretty classic Maybelline mascara in the short pink tube. Then it became the Maybelline define a line mascara. Oh to be a kid again.


Does anyone remember the hard candy shadow pallets! I thought the light blue was sooo cool.


Never wearing blush or lipstick, that was for old ladies. Mono-tone from hairline-to-jawline, a solid color lid in blue, eyes in a circle with liner and black as night mascara. Little gloss that looked sooo shiny.... and we're so hot, all the boys wanted us. Sometimes, for something special, like a Jr high dance, some goopy roll on glitter in all the right places.


My parents were always very chill about our (my sisters and I) self-expression. As long as you pay for it yourself, basically anything goes, haha. I remember in middle school I was getting into goth stuff and I had the whitest, white face and black lines, in eyeliner, all the way down my face, lol (think: the crow). Over the years it did not get better. In HS I had light purple eyelids, light purple lipstick and horribly done eyeliner. Oh, and shimmer everywhere, lol. Basically, I looked as trashy as humanly possible (via 2004). 😅


Did you get acne as hell? I'd never put makeup on which is THAT cheap. There is a reason (as long as it's not created by an influencer) why high-quality makeup is expensive. A good formula avoids getting allergic shock by high-quality ingredients. Cheap makeup often has too much alcohol in it or similar. Because it's a cheap filler.