T O P

When your company announces that you have to take part in ice breaker games with the team you've worked with for the last bloody 8 years.

When your company announces that you have to take part in ice breaker games with the team you've worked with for the last bloody 8 years.

WalkTheFleetRoad

There’s no two words I fear more at work than ‘away-day’. FAO managers: it’s a shit idea. Wazzing company money up the wall on a conference suite in which we all all look at PowerPoint presentations you could have emailed, and then I end up in a ‘breakout’ room with some people I usually avoid in the office FOR GOOD REASONS. If you’re going to do this, at least stick a few hundred behind the bar, and turn a blind eye to any high jinx without getting HR involved the minute the ‘c-word’ gets dropped.


anemoschaos

But it makes the Learning & Development Managers (I.e. the people who book you on those courses) feel so validated when they see you suffer.


cantab314

Take an actual sheet of ice. Break it over the manager's head. Make sure some pieces go down the back of their neck.


Ok_Car4059

Exquisite twist in the tail there!


Danuta_

Sounds like I'd be sick that day.


toodog

There is no I in team. therefore I will not be in the team building


marshwizard

But there's a great big *me*


Tumeni1959

I hate team building away days. Passionately.


hmsforbesy

Don’t get eliminated!!


Rich_27-

Don't pick the umbrella


Sam-Lowry27B-6

You know middle management will try and make us all play squid game now. Thanks Netflix.


AdministrativeShip2

What you do, is make the suggestion publicly to play squid game. As you aren't management it will get shot down for being impractical. Especially if you suggest the board can watch in golden masks. Because its been refused, they can't use the idea themselves.


Twty405

The other day I had to do an hour long introduction session between myself and my own sister-in-law that I hired a year ago. All because she got a new role in the company and her new boss booked in a meeting between her and every department head. I tried to explain why it was ridiculous and I still dont understand why they didnt agree.


FigureItOut50

“ice breaker” Nope. No thank you. No. Although I was thinking about them the other day. In particular I was planning what I’d say in a game of 2 truths and a lie.


Ok_Car4059

Or a training course that starts with The Circle of Death. "Tell us something about yourself".


JohnnyOneLung

I just have a stock of lies I rotate, although my favourite is ‘in 2001 I won 32k on Who Wants to be a Millionaire’


Pyrrhrick

Had a colleague that hated socialising in those forced settings. There was once an interdepartmental thing where they mixed us with strangers who we'll never speak to or work with again (ugh) On his table, everyone was going round introducing themselves and they got to him and he just kept his head down. Literally stared at the floor. He said they didn't know what to do (my fav part of the story) so they just continued round the table as if it didn't happen and didn't speak to him again. The man is my hero to be honest. Whereas I couldn't not speak out of embarrassment, his distain for it outweighed any awkwardness he felt.


GodsActualButthole

That is a total power move!


pennikin

creeping death ! tell us something about you that no one else knows ! " i murdered the last person who asked me that "


1HeyMattJ

This should be pretty easy for you then


RevolutionaryRule631

Have a night of curried eggs and cider before hand to break the ice good and proper


lookitsdivadan

Same reason I don't have you on my socials, Kenneth. I just don't fucking like you enough to engage with you, aside from the 'cheers' or 'morning' I offer you.


[deleted]

My wife is having to drive 6 hours for one of these meetings. Worked at the company for years.