T O P

Oh no, not avocados! 🤦🏼‍♀️

Oh no, not avocados! 🤦🏼‍♀️

lemonpunt

Looks like 3 evolutions of the same pokemon. Gradually increasing in size, power and hair


DetectiveActive

Or the stages of an avocado when you bring it home from the grocery store


sad_post-it_note

lol


Datee27

I like the man in the middle level of ripeness.


xmuskorx

Level 1: Avie Level 15: Avacdor Level 30: Guac-champ


Stacked_Latina_MILF

Was gonna say its the animorphs white guy to black guy


billz50tree

This kinda looks like the stages of heavy avocado use 🥑


HotZergling

They look like the default dude when you start a new game but in different races.


DemythologizedDie

Why phrase the headline that way? They were arrested for stealing the avocados from their employer not for some kind of failure to get an avocado dealer's license.


Sinsai33

Thank you. Here i wondered why selling avocados would be illegal.


Ludique

They're a gateway fruit. Today it's avocados, and the next thing you know it's asparagus, then broccoli, and soon you're living in a cardboard box turning tricks for okra.


sinixis

Sooner or later it will be legal and taken over by Big Carrot


Appropriate-Row4804

Medical Avocados is a thing though, you know with avocado dispensaries and stuff


Chris-2005

Iol


quackrespawn

ha ah ah hahhaha haha very funny


conundrums11

Too funny


AltheiWasTaken

Avocados are one of the most popular ways to laundry blood money (from narcotic cartels for example), but in this case its not the matter


Confident_Counter471

Well if they don’t meet fda standards and are potentially dangerous. You can get in serious trouble selling tainted food. Also smuggled avocados are a thing. Stolen and then resold.


waiting4singularity

dont you need a commercial license to sell as a business?


_orion_1897

Well if you sell avocados without a license then you're also bypassing all sorts of health regulations for example


FullMarksCuisine

The real facepalm is that tweet and this post


rcarnes911

The Avocado world is cut-throat all the cartels in Mexico are fighting for control


An_aussie_in_ct

Isn’t it something like 5c from every avocado sold at the grocery ends up with the cartels?


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Jakius

dammit is there anything i can enjoy without it becoming bloody?


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davis482

OP said something they can enjoy.


Trick_Enthusiasm

I'm afraid to click on that link. I'm on mobile so I don't know if it's a rickroll or porn.


Shinikama

It's safe. Just a meme.


Laphing_Drunk

There is no ethical consumption under capitalism.


scabbymonkey

Its all a conspiracy to get us to stop eating guacamole. "I will not comply!"


SasparillaTango

So, capitalism working as intended?


fs_mercury

r/iam14andthisisdeep


Pope_Godzilla

True fact, the Yamaguchi-Gumi Yakuza extorted a bunch of corporations for a percentage for a long time, the 2 thatmost people will be familiar with are Sony and Mitsubishi which means that every and anytime you purchased anything from those corporation you were indirectly paying the Yamaguchi-Gumi. It's estimated at their peak they were making $80 billion a year, that's in USD and not yen.


Setrosi

What do you spend all that dirty moolah on?


eqka

Cars, huge mansions, parties, etc https://www.reddit.com/r/nextfuckinglevel/comments/pqzoqs/the_funeral_for_gang_leader_from_one_of_the/


eqka

Why did they stop?


Frolicking-Fox

Only made worse when California wildfires took out the majority of our avocado trees. We will rely on Mexico for years to come.


Sure-Faithlessness-2

Where I live in Carpinteria Valley near Montecito and Santa Barbara has over 2,200 acres in avocado, and hundreds of acres in cannabis. We have a 3 day avocado festival every year, but cannabis festival is sort of every day. It's a $500. fine if ya hop a fence an steal an avo, but lots of people sell in their driveway 75¢ ea. Not the weed tho, that gets delivered at about $20. an eighth an I can see the Pacific ocean and the island of blue dolphins from my front yard (plus two giant steps). Beach, weed, avocados.


InevertypeslashS

Yeah the post is a facepalm


TheFakeKanye

Literally any illegal business attracts murder or human suffering. The Italian mafias run olive oil cartels. Imagine if you cracked down on the American Mafia, but framed it as "police go after garbage disposal companies"


Von32

The oil thing is actually super interesting. Ragusea did a rad video on it


MorochIgaram

It annoys me that people are making jokes when people are getting killed, enslaved, and worst because of fucking avocados... Even if this post is not related to it.


sausagebody

First day on the internet?


MorochIgaram

No, but sometimes it's tiring... I just wish people would be more empathetic.


rebuiltlogan

You can joke about something and still be empathetic. Comedy is a way to cope with tragedy. Be careful judging something at face value, that's the real apathy


Inksrocket

People who get their fun by acting rude will eventually attract people who will think they are in good company


Ok-Faithlessness3068

I imagine it's quite difficult to garner sympathy for something like this. If the Taliban were to start exporting cuddly toys instead of opium you'd have the same fight on your hands.


PetrifiedW00D

If I remember correctly, they banned farming opium . Actually, under US occupation, opium farming increased.


JoshJoshson13

Alright alright alright


ShortFatFannie

This is actually kind of true, but is often presented without proper context. U.S. provided equipment and training that allowed all farmers to increase crop yields. Early on, there was also the perverse incentive problem not dissimilar to how the British accidentally made the cobra population explode in India. The U.S. didn't like poppy production, but found that aggressively stamping it out led to lower popular support. Todays Taliban is more likely to fold opium production into their economy than make any attempt to halt it.


hilarymeggin

I guess we should all look for avocados grown in the U.S.. I just read that the US is the second largest producer after Mexico, and 90% of our avocado production is in California.


ThatMemeyDude

Yeah, I suggest you watch the show “Rotten” for more info, it’s really cool.


FirstPlebian

The only area allowed to grow avocados in mexico is near where the Monarch Butterflys nest, it's actually a problem because they are trying to take more of the Morarch areas for new farming areas, last I heard anyway.


FLGulf

My neighbor puts relish on her genitals


foxyfree

Your comment is so odd I looked at your post history to see if you’re a bot - looks like you just enjoy making weird porcupine dildo sex comments - all totally unrelated to wherever they’re posted, some offensive, all random - and for years! hahaha wtf?!


Nevaloud

Some just want to live unbridled.


OneSquirtBurt

Assuming it were true I would also tell people this randomly, it's such an interesting conversation gem. "What would you like on your hot dog sir?" "Oh nothing for me but you know, my neighbor puts relish on her genitals, this hot dog would be a good genital-relish delivery system, don't you agree?"


MousseSuspicious930

Gotta admire the commitment.


HogarthTheMerciless

I haven't seen one of these "committed to the bit" accounts in a long time. I remember a user called something like "I'mAlJean" and literally every comment he made was on Simpsons related posts saying "I wrote this and it sucks", dude didn't even get any karma for it, but he committed like hell to the bit.


Duck8Quack

Floridaman strikes again.


amallamasmamma

Who doesn’t relish genitals?


JB93Til

A woman of culture I see


justadair

That's when she uses yogurt


Behan801

Sweet or dill?


Txikitxakurra

Very important question


Txikitxakurra

Where is this person so I don’t cross paths with her?


ms1080

Whoa! My neighbor does too!! So weird. And to think it happened on Reddit.


redditreadred

[https://6abc.com/avocado-theft-grand-mission-produce-thieves-ventura-county/2115438/](https://6abc.com/avocado-theft-grand-mission-produce-thieves-ventura-county/2115438/) From the article, they were stolen produce, worth more than $300k, that is why they were arrested. >Detectives also learned that the illegal sales may have been happeningfor several months. Mission Produce estimates the value of the stolenproduce to be more than $300,000.


HertzDonut1001

You'd be surprised the lengths farmers go to protect avocados. Some people call it green gold. Fences, cameras, in some countries armed guards.


redditreadred

Not for me, I personally hate avocados. I have no idea why people like it or guacomole.


ZombifiedByCataclysm

Because they're delicious!


Aminyra

They are! The avocados are pretty good too.


HertzDonut1001

Everyone can like what they want dude, that's cool. But they are very popular and I love me some chips and guac as long as it's fresh avocado and not that bagged cream avocado spread crap with no seasoning or added veggies.


FatesPeak

because they support the cartels


UTS15

I also support prostitution; wouldn’t want your mom to be out of a job.


IMNOT_A_LAWYER

Nope. Can’t prosecute any other crimes until you catch all the murderers first!


TennisADHD

What’s that? Like 12 avocados?


LocoBaxter

The avocados also went bad before they arrived to the police station.


RUFiO006

The avocados are also cursed.


Coattail-Rider

14, actually


Tommy_C

Guac costs extra, is that ok?


TennisADHD

(It was not)


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usmcplz

My cousin overdosed on pico.... Powerful stuff.


paputsza

So, cool joke, beautiful, but this is guacamole


Txikitxakurra

God forbid they turn it in to guacamole 🥑!


Blueberryguy88

Thats not how you make Pico de Gallo...


DurnchMcGurnicuddy

Their scheme was not as 𝘴𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘢𝘥𝘰 as they thought.


AarXsh

this was one of the best comments ive ever seen lmfao


Blueberryguy88

The issue isn't the Avocados it's the 300k...


Pyrhan

And the stealing...


trashcan_carla

This story is the pits.


WajorMeasel

Holy guacamole


HistoricalMeat

What kind of illegal sale? Like they sold somebody else’s avocados that they didn’t actually own or they didn’t have some random permit?


virsugfoo25

Yes, they were stolen


HistoricalMeat

So what’s the facepalm?


shhalahr

At this point, the initial news headline. But the comment suggesting we can't do anything about smaller crimes until we solve all larger ones is a close second.


juicius

The follow-up comment, probably, for suggesting that $300,000 isn't somehow important because it was from avocado or other crimes must be solved before police arrest people for theft.


Lost_Conclusion5357

This actually harming an already dying American export of avocados, some farmers are forced to shut down their farms due to Mexico being able to export twice as many avocados as them. **#SAVECALIFORNIASAVOCADOS**


G00dbot

Do they think that the police have a board that lists criminals? "Wanted: Andy the Arsonist" "Wanted: Mitch the Murderer" "Wanted: Gary the Illegal Guac Seller"


azgrunt

Why the facepalm? These assholes should be arrested because they stole $300k worth of avocados from a company. https://6abc.com/avocado-theft-grand-mission-produce-thieves-ventura-county/2115438/


34HoldOn

It was stolen produce totaling over 300k. Using the argument that there's "bigger fish to fry" when you're literally talking about 300k, I mean....


VelourBro

California takes avocados seriously.


Mama2Bear87

Finally something healthy being illegally sold.


huckleberryimyour

tom brady nervous


fucktooshifty

"KillianTrill" is about as smart as you'd expect someone who's styled themselves to resemble an upside-down penis would be Same for you OP, if you didn't read the tweet in the picture you linked as "these men stole $300,000" bless your heart


Tarkov_Hunter

The reason that this is such a large issue, is that there are actual advocado cartels that smuggle them in from the southern border. Because avocados are hard to grow in most parts of North America, they cost a pretty penny. The real problem is that these cartels actually steal entire shipments from the farmers, kidnap them, and hold them for ransom so the families have to pay. People have been killed, and entire cities have been destroyed over this. It is a real issue. Not only is there various sources on it, there is also a netflix documentary.


RelicBeckwelf

I live in the avocado capital of the US. Theft of avocados out here is a serious crime. People put multimillion dollar security systems on their avocado groves. An established Grove is ridiculously expensive. You have to remember, on average it takes an avocado tree 5-10 years to grow fruit, and the avocado craze is relatively new.


Future_Zer0

I mean 300k is a lot of money though.


Spotted_ascot_races

Cartel expansion plan


Parnwig

Ah, yes. There are murders, so let's just let all other crime proceed until there aren't any more murders


2ndSense

This post is the real facepalm


Peuned

We need to provide murderers with nicer alternative crimes to commit


Kryds

How is this facepalm? Because there's rape and murder no other crimes matter?


MJMurcott

They basically stole the avocados and sold them on. https://6abc.com/avocado-theft-grand-mission-produce-thieves-ventura-county/2115438/


Messivs7

these dudes look like neapolitan ice cream


WeeabooDan417

Each one looks like the same person except god just slid the skin color slider a bit and called it a day.


Superbsuburbandad

Well holy guacamole that escaladed quickly


lotsofstufftodo

Clickbait title, grand theft is a felony. https://www.usatoday.com/amp/406581001


leeny_bean

Grand theft Avocado 🥑


Quit_your_dayjob

The full story is they were working at a business and sold avocados to customers for cash and kept the cash. Honestly though, I low key don’t care. I don’t condone stealing but……


Jarkanix

But what? 'I don't condone stealing but I do in this instance for no particular reason'.


jmvk2018

Thank you for the backstory, it was just enough to satisfy my curiosity!!


SleeveHo

Well hell, since people are being murdered then I guess all other crimes are excusable. That's great news! Honey, fire up the bath tub it's time to cook!


kenkanobi

I feel times have changed when illegal avocado dealing is a thing.


FNaF_Nerd_The_idkth

I would have bought all the avocados.


Jimbo-Slice259

They are all just the same guy in different ethnic forms.


Eenious

a few months ago I read the article, I believe they were illegally imported.


BobasPett

How’d they sell $300k of avocados so fast? I buy em and they feel like concrete but they turn brown the next day. It’s a very tight window of opportunity.


DJGlennW

Where can I find the statute that governs avocados so I can figure out what "illegal sale of avocados " means?


NSFWar

L-R they also like three stages of ripeness of an avocado


FrostyCakes123

Obviously none of y’all are Californian, illegal avocado dealing has been a real problem out here.


cbrieeze

mafia makes millions from virgin olive oil.


red_shrike

"Hey yo... what you in for???" "Avocados...." "Damn, this boy is HARD!"


Murtudun

How come the middle guy looks like mix of the side guys?


clamslamsams

You don’t know if there’s blood on them ‘cados.


TheCowardMcCall

Holy guacamole!!!


AdOriginal6110

Man I remember being in the avocado game, you're riding high got women cars jewelry then one day guacamole and it's over


CyberCopAlexAnder

If there is anything any government cares more than rape and murder its tax evasion.


RandyGareth

"Hey man you got some of that green?" "yeah bro hush hush. It's the Hass strain."


C0ZM

Wait until you hear about Canada's maple syrup cartels


boomboomroom

Sometimes the cops get the low-hanging......fruit. Yeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhh. Puts on glasses.


TheOneTrueWigglyBoi

Guacamole gang


milestorm

Were those the coke bags masked in avocadoes as the avocado core?


TheBigsBubRigs

Guy in the middle, ya he's not sorry - second he makes bail, he's opening a stall at a farmer's market for sure.


medicalphysical

Veggie Tales from Tha Hood


LaxinPhilly

I mean it's theft...


Polymathy1

I mean, yes. Probably. On the other hand, are these guys ruining farms by having people steal an entire crop in the night or hijacking trucks and selling them was their only charge they could prove? Like Al Capone?


newkingasour

Now you see why the crime rate is up


iamjknet

Someone steals wire from lowes to sell and there is public outrage. Someone steals Avocados and sells them for more money and we make jokes.


thatrandommulletguy

How can you illegally sell a avacardo.


yolo3558

Probably not having a business and health dept license to do so.


Futueteipsum7

But are they getting murdered on avacado farms? That’s the relevant detail.


Nekella

Here comes the war on avocados. Wonder how big the avocado enforcement agency budget will be…


Futueteipsum7

We’re going to imprison them at Guacanamo Bay.


SleeveHo

I'm sure a few million a year budget will solve the issue


Triette

New meaning to Avocado Toast.


kenkanobi

They getting murdered by lord voldemort shouting avocadocadaver


froggyfrogfrog123

Wait… they’re arrested for SELLING avacado? Did they steal them? Because if they grew them themselves, I don’t see a problem.


azgrunt

Yes they stole over $300k worth of avocados https://6abc.com/avocado-theft-grand-mission-produce-thieves-ventura-county/2115438/


wise-ish

Sounds like they were working at a produce place and selling them for cash on the side so yes stealing.


froggyfrogfrog123

Ah, okay that makes sense, that headline is shit.


fernatic19

You can get arrested for selling any food without permit, health dept validation, or whatever if you do enough business. So it's probably that. Sell enough of grandma's almond butter and it could happen to you. But only if you ignored all the rules.


Alternative_Mention2

Millennial Gansgstas. No smashed Avocado for you!


wizardshawn

Is "avocados " a street slang for meth or something? /s


wizardshawn

I hear you can get 5 years just for using.


Spirited-Chapter

When drugs are legalized they gotta get their money from the people one way or another.


lakesideleaner

I hear the underground toast market is quite dangerous


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Skel109

That’s real, and you really don’t (unless your a badass Mexican farmer) [blood avocados are real](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.businessinsider.com/us-avocado-consumption-helping-mexican-drug-cartels-border-guns-2020-2%3famp)


joeyo1423

One bite of avocado is all it takes to be hooked for life


DependentVehicle5759

No shit wtf


Whereizdafood

Discussions in jail must be funny


jimmycoed

2 for a dollar at Krogers. That's 600 thousand avocados for crying out loud Jerry!


virsugfoo25

Where are you at for them to be 2 for $1???


jimmycoed

Arizona


YUNGbigMURPH

some real shit gobblers


MD_Wolfe

This avocado gang is right out of central casting ive never seen a racially diverse gang IRL before.


shera0829

My hero’s


TuckerCarlsonsWig

When you're selecting a race at the character creation menu


Thebatman4ever

Starting with the left guy, what does their face really say? Go!