I mean, it's okay to be attracted to this, as long as you can recognize that this, in most cases, is fantasy. Women (and men) are not kink dispensers, and all subs should learn to take care of themselves and not be overly reliant on their partners.
We (as subs) are complete, whole, complex, multi-faceted people on our own. A Dom/me of any kind is a bonus, of course, to enrich things and support us (and all the other stuffs!) but we're functional and whole without them.
Damit sigmoid Freud just because I want comfort and a dominant woman dosnt mean I want to have sex with my biological mother lol dude was a genius but also whacked
The point isn't that you want to fuck your mother.
The point is you want to find a "Motherly figure" in your life to fill the void because your mother was absent or emotionally cold/abusive. It's the same thing for chicks with daddy issues, except it's "Mommy issues".
Seek therapy, my guy. It's worth it. I'm here despite my previous issues, I'm just a switch lol
Been there I’m actually doing ok from it, wasn’t trying to make waves just jokes it’s how I lesson tension.
Honestly…. I unsubscribed from r/rolereversal yesterday. As much as I love a sub who blushes and wears pretty clothes, the lack of self awareness in that sub was just exhausting. I’ve done 5 years of therapy, self work, attending munches and classes, all to be my best dominant self, all to take care of my own baggage so I can be a fulfilling partner… only to realize the community I had chosen is full of entitled men who want me to do all of the emotional labor of a mother, *in addition to* the emotional labor most women in vanilla relationships carry.
So yeah…. This post hit home for me.
I'm sorry to hear that. I think currently there's an epidemic of mental health for men that hasn't been addressed. Women suffer a lot from it as well. The education system and the company concept of gender norms need to be reworked.
I've had to go through self therapy myself because of my relationship issues. And I'm working on helping others as well. Stuff like ForeverAlone and Incels are becoming far too common and it truly is concerning.
On the other hand however there's plenty of people out there who have fixed the issues they've realized.
I'm also confused as apparently kids don't work with caring to the emotional needs of their mother. My mom and I have a rocky relationship and all but we have each other's backs.
I wish I could give the both of you above five hundred awards. I also fully believe that it stems from male mental health issues not being addressed in multiple ways, aside from sexism. The demure-ification and purification of Dommes is absolutely physically repulsive to me. I enjoy being sweet, and gentle, and helping, and doting... But not when people tell me it's my *job*. That's when I get violently angry, and to be quite honest, I cannot *STAND any single* Reddit thread for Femdom, Mommy kink, etc these days. *"That's not very Mommy-like"* any time something is slightly less coddling than men want makes me want to pass a kidney stone out of sheer rage. Show me at least one submissive on this particular subreddit who is genuinely a submissive who knows what BDSM is, knows safety protocol and general etiquette, has been to at least one munch, etc, and is not just a man who wants a female service top and sexy therapist.
I genuinely feel bad that mens' mental health has been neglected for decades. But, God, it is not womens' job to take abuse or do toxic levels of emotional labor due to it and fix male society as a whole - I genuinely feel bad for everybody involved, from all angles. It's a bad situation for *every single person* involved, and until men become self-aware and seek professional help and open up around one another, family, friends, etc, rather than just women they find attractive, nothing will ever change.
I am essentially slowly letting go of the entirety of Reddit over this because it pervades even my main account's interests *(Fandom content)*, I'm tired of men accusing me of being abusive due to consensual kink because they think women being nice to them is a kink in and of itself and is the peak of all kink because the rest is *"Gross" (It's almost as if a lot of the men here are vanilla and just want to throw off society's gender role issues, which kink culture is known for tossing out, but they want to bite the hand that feeds and welcomes them!)*, or not even asking if they can trauma dump on me. I am tired of enabling this by merely existing in their realm and giving them hope that their toxic fantasy might be real.
I honestly super appreciate this response. I feel embarrassed to be a sub sometimes because of, as you note, the whole "man who wants a female service top and sexy therapist" thing.
I wish we could separate the idea of gentle femdom from "mommydom," because mommydom tends to be *anything* but gentle on the domme themselves. It's just treating a person as a kink dispenser and whole-life-problem-solver, rather than a full member of a give-and-take relationship.
Again, Mommy Dommes and the concept of what people *think* they encompass in terms of kinkplay is *NOT* an issue. To revoke my personal preferred title due to boxes is even worse than to shove it into those boxes in the first place. The same goes for the fact that I enjoy all of the stereotypical *"Make you chicken tenders and let you suckle on my breasts"* content... As a woman, and as a Dominant. I like giving that just as much as I enjoy being a Dominant in other ways, and that's okay!
Mommy is just a *title*. We wouldn't be going after Daddy Doms, Masters, Mistresses, etc. The issue is that people don't realize *just that.* My gentle, maternal side does not de-materialize when I stop using the term Mommy. Mistress is glad to let you suckle, and Mommy is glad to cane your stupid, slutty ass into red pulp because you were naughty. Titles change nothing, and revoking a certain kind of dynamic from women who enjoy it too when it's done ethically or to talk down on that dynamic isn't the answer.
The title Mommy, or wanting what people associate the term with, or GFD is *not the issue.* The issue is the dispenser culture that men want, and forcing that title into boxes in the first place. I've been a Mommy Domme for about 7 years and never had this issue until meme culture and entitled, young men bringing forth change telling me *"What a Mommy is"* and *"Isn't"*.
The issue is the last sentence you stated. I completely agree! But that is not exclusive to the title Mommy or the behavior people assume from the title, it's exclusive to sexism and exists in even vanilla relationships - It's men who force it to toxic levels because they assume acceptance of toxicity from the title itself and wish to change the culture to fit that.
I hope this helps to explain what I meant further and to give insight, I otherwise agree.
That's fair. I didn't mean to completely obliterate the validity of the title "Mommy." I'm more or less trying to agree with your general point regarding toxic male expectations. So long as your relationship is consenting and legal, you can call each other whatever you like, nobody is in a position to dictate that. The problem occurs when people enter the relationship with unreasonable and ridiculous expectations of the domme for taking that title.
I know, I'm not mad - I tend to talk very bluntly to get the point across. You're fine. ♥
I'm sorry if that wasn't clear at first, I mean things at face value. I completely agree with you!
No worries, I wasn't offended. I appreciate the clarification!
Your characterization of the users of this subreddit seems unnecessarily judgemental. It kinda makes sense that someone on a subreddit called "gentlefemdom" wouldn't be a huge kinky BDSM enthusiast, and it's not like there'd be a sub more fitting for those types of people than this one.
I am saying these things very much as a blanket term, admittedly - To be clearer. It was always intended as such.
However, no matter how gently you do BDSM, it's still a necessity to know safety protocol and etiquette between a Dom and sub. Femdom is still a branch of BDSM, involves BDSM, and needs to include the safety, communication, and healthy practices of BDSM to run smoothly.
I'm tired of men telling me I cannot use a title simply because they see one fraction of my life on one subreddit, ironically - The term *"Gentle"* is subjective. I'm not expecting hardcore BDSM on a subreddit meant for tender, gentle kink interactions. But I'd like it if people could not call me fake or abusive over arbitrary and subjective things such as *"You can't make your submissive do the dishes in exchange for an orgasm, that's abuse!"*
That is an actual argument I once had. Dishes. I am apparently an abuser and not a Mommy Domme because men shouldn't have to do dishes. Moms do dishes, not men. Yes, that was the real argument. I'm talking about things like that that make me want to *scream*. Loving chastity is abuse, rules are abuse, etc... It's all subjective.
It's not that they dislike it, it's that they will actively force their own opinion of what they want onto others and disqualify them if it's not to their liking. I just scroll past content I dislike and say it's not for me, and they should do the same. That's my gripe on that subject.
I see. I guess I just haven't personally seen that sort of thing in my limited time here.
All this mommy dom shit isn’t even femdom to me. It’s women attending to the needs and wants of men, which is maledom
And you have the right to your own opinion. I'm not into mommy kink but I will defend it because everyone has a right to their needs as long as they aren't expending the needs of others. There's no right way to do anything, best not to judge, that would make you a hypocrite 😊
Ofc ppl can like it if they want. I just don’t think it’s femdom
One sided relationships are never femdom and In theory ddlg relationships aren't.
I'm not one to kink shame and I believe you should try to see the other side of things. I find cuckoldry distasteful, however my closest friend is one, she's the nicest person I've ever met.
So I don't think it's necessarily right to put in your own perspective on something so subjective.
My Dominant side is a service top, does that make me not a Dom? I'd disagree.
At the end of the day, *all sex* should be an activity *both* partied enjoy. Not everyone is going to have their fantasies fulfilled, so partners have to meet in the middle. That's how relationships work.
sometimes people have to break their soft limits for the enjoyment of the other partners. For example, if my theoretical partner wanted anal, and I do not like to do that to another partner because it can be dangerous, I might have to to satisfy my partner. But In that situation I could make sure it goes safely as possible as my limit is because anal sex is can be very painful to your partner.
Keep that in mind in the future, as taboo communities are trying to break down gynocentric/androcentric gendered norms. We don't flip flop to the other.
Femdom in loose terms Is a woman who is the sexual aggressive type during play, but doesn't have to initiate it necessarily. In some regards d/s relationships aren't that much different from vanilla ones. Especially in gentle kink ad Power dynamics are on a far more *even* play field.
These are some things you might want to consider, I hope you have a nice night ☺️
Because its mainstream popularity stemmed from *"Soft Mommy Domme"* memes which were a branch of the *"Big tiddy goth GF"* meme.
Mommy is but a title you may do with what you please just as any other Dominant title such as Master, Mistress, Daddy, Sir, etc but people who came here from/after the memes haven't realized that yet.
Titles have the meaning you give to them, nothing more and nothing less, and it has always been that way. I'm appalled that I'm shoved into a box over meme culture and male fantasy alone, even if I enjoy being what they want from me just as much as being a hard, unrelenting Domme that uses the title of Mommy. It makes me not want to be a nice Mommy at *all*.
I find this very short-sighted and full of kinkshaming veiled in acceptable terminology. I'm really exhausted with women who just don't get it but I will refrain from making too many assumptions yet
I want to die and my day is ruined
I'm sick of misandrist bullshit like yours that tries to pretend it's superior and it makes me too angry, upset, and depressed to listen properly or engage with you respectfully
Explain how I kinkshamed you, though. You have no argument unless you give one.
All you did was guilt trip me by telling me you want to die, and that you'd not make assumptions yet. That gives me nothing to work with to explain myself and have a discussion. It's just rude and toxic.
Look, I can try, but I told you I'm too angry to have a proper discussion or to phrase things respectfully. Expect lots of 'you' statements and not enough 'I' statements
> You claim that mommy kink is rooted in sexism (counterpoint: it is rooted in wanting to be loved. you are correct in that a lack of mental health is at play, at least for me.)
> you explicitly say that it's disgusting to you
> you claim that there is an expectation that it's your job, a far too malicious way of saying boys have unfilled needs.
> you gatekeep by saying that it's not what bdsm is about. (counterpoint: gfd is not bdsm by default, its qualifiers are 'gentle' and 'doninant'. but what do i know.)
> you shame men's emotions by claiming they just want a 'sexy therapist'. spoiler alert, we just want to be vulnerable with someone.
> you imply that there is an expectation for women to "take abuse" and use the highly misandrist concept of "emotional labor"
> you say you feel bad for everybody involved in a highly condescending way,
> you condescend further by saying men need to seek professional help, and say they aren't self-aware. (spoiler alert! if you don't come at them with such sexist language, and instead an attempt to understand, you'll find that self-awareness! and guess what? ""professional help"" (which I, specifically, have been undertaking for years now) is no replacement for love and acceptance in a female-led relationship!
> you are correct in that women merely being nice is not a kink, but not in that certain kindnesses can't be
> kink culture is way too full of people like you for us to find any acceptance in it. the ability to exempt ourselves from gender roles is fine as is.
> you call the fantasies toxic
you aren't abusive to your *partners because of your kinks*. you're abusive to the *people you talk to because of your mindset*. i do not want to talk to you again.
I never said the kink was, I said that the way men treat Dominants is. I said I was a Mommy Domme who is treated in a sexist way and that it disgusts me to be treated as a completely flaccid doormat of a woman simply over a title that could mean anything. I never gatekept, gatekeeping would be saying that feminine or gentle women *can't* be Mommies. I never *once* said that. I said gentle and feminine is not the *default settings* for a Mommy.
Gentle Femdom is absolutely BDSM by default. It is a part of BDSM culture and stemmed from there. BDSM is not harsh by default. BDSM can involve anything two parties want it to so long as it is safe, sane, and consensual, which is what I'm implying is wrong to not have within a dynamic. I am further implying that kinkshaming me based on liking harsher BDSM than somebody else likes is not okay and not welcome in this community. Kink culture and its history is extremely important.
Emotional labor is real and is a two-way street. Why do you assume only women provide emotional labor? In this context, yes, it is women providing it. In contexts with male Dominants, it is often something men have to deal with. It's the context of the scene.
Yes. In society, it is often a man's job to shut up about his emotions, and a woman's job to take it to a toxic degree when he does open up, because of how pent up he is. Neither are good for either party. That is my point. It is bad for both genders involved. You're reading my tone wrong, which is common through text, but I was being genuine about feeling bad for everybody involved.
You're right! Professional help is NOT a replacement! But nobody needs a relationship to feel whole! If you need a significant other to feel normal, you need to unpack societal romantic idealizations, because, Lord, we have a lot over here. Romantic love isn't the only type of extremely intimate love you can receive from females! But if a man ***DOES*** have issues, with the key word being *"Does"*, which is what I was specifically referring to, then yes, he should get professional help! A professional is *LEGALLY QUALIFIED* to **HELP** them. Therapy is not a "Gotcha" or a demeaning thing in my eyes and I was never using it as one. It is *genuine help* for those who need it.
Fantasies are *not* toxic, and *I never said that*. I implied that one where women are often actively dehumanized is, in the context that they wanted to force it into reality, and that that was where it became unhealthy. If you took a look at any other comment I replied to within this thread, maybe, just maybe you'd see I enjoy doing those things and babying and coddling men and stood up for that fantasy more than once. Fantasy becomes toxic when people force unrealistic things into real-life spaces and expect it to go smoothly. It becomes toxic when people literally force overly-ideal situations on real people without budging on places where reality needs to stick to reality. I have plenty of kinks and fantasies I would never bring into reality or would compromise on to make them doable, so I understand this. I'm talking about men who refuse to do that.
You don't ever have to talk to me again, but good gravy, I will not be misconstrued like that. Sit back and read what else I've said within this thread rather than assume things, and maybe relax before replying if you cannot get a handle on yourself. At least I don't threaten people with my own death, and I don't assume a violently negative tone towards every single line of text I read. You assumed I was being condescending when I was genuine over your own anger.
You guys both need to calm the fuck down. You two want to make me puke. Both of you have claim to your own opinion and fighting over it solves nothing. For starters both of you have misandry in your own right. Both of you have the same stance of "my needs first" news flash! Relationships are founded on a basis of equality not superiority. All I see when ever it's brought up is toxic feminist and toxic MRAs fighting each other constantly. You're both propagating a problem.
Now if you actually worked out your issues like civilized people I wouldn't have to impede between the two of you.
I think both of you have a misunderstanding of how relationships work. It's the basis of giving to each other. Both of you seem like takers in a relationship which is extremely unhealthy. No one here is a god, no one here is a pathetic worm. Gentle femdom is based on a more vanilla experience of bdsm which makes it subject to the rules of vanilla relationships. You two are both partaking in an illegal activity and should understand the risks and dangers of the lifestyle.
You kinda… just proved my point?
I mean honestly dude, I went through your post history. You’re 18, and I’m happy you’re building a community to escape Incel mentality…. But the depression epidemic you’re talking about is caused by capitalism and the patriarchy as a whole, not just gender norms. And being a therapist to other Incels is above your experience and pay grade. It’s above mine as well.
“Still like foreveralone and incels are becoming far too common.” haha welcome to the internet kid, those have been around for 10 years, and white male supremacy has been around since forever.
And for the Mommy thing, it’s the opposite of what you’re thinking. The idea of “Mommy Issues” is that the mans mother *didn’t* give her son the love and affection he needed. She may have made her son grow up too fast, proooobably because she was a single mother and needed her kid to grow up fast. And so the adult man seeks out the love and affection his inner child needs. That’s how it was in my marriage anyway.
So my two cents on how to break out of negative misogynistic thought patterns? Start listening to women. Listen to feminist podcasts, instagrams, subreddits. humanize us. This is in addition to working with a trained therapist.
You're assuming a lot about me and devaluing something I care about doing. Which is something I didn't expect from you. You need to learn to be a bit nicer to others around you. I never denied your point to begin with and you're trying to make me look like an asshole. Which isn't cool.
Again I’m very glad you’ve started that community, it is absolutely needed. I’m just saying it’s highly likely helping others beyond your life experience/abilities and responsibility. Your naïve language is what tipped me off to your life experience level. If you go to school to become a trained therapist, fuck yeah, I wish you the best and I hope you do some good in the world.
The mom part, yeah I read that wrong, it’s ugly early and I shouldn’t be making grand statements before coffee. I apologize for that part, though my point stands just in different context, such as in response to the meme, not to your comment.
I could say the same thing about your GWA pornographic content and the demographic is what caused your bias in the first place. It's unrealistic to think there aren't put together people in the bdsm community.
Also there's plenty of people who help out in places like alcoholics anonymous, which is what my organization is modeled after.
Again this was a repost meme from a friend of mine. It's entirely satire.
Just walk away, no good can come of this. You've done nothing to embarrass yourself in this thread and you can nope out of this with dignity.
Bahaha so because I make porn a couple times a year I have a skewed view? Sounds slut shaming and misogyny to me. 🤷♀️
Listen dude, I’ve been around the block, my reaction is not just coming from Reddit, it’s also coming from real world experiences. It’s from being exhausted of being expected to solve all of my partners mental health problems, to care for their inner child when they refuse to care for themselves. This concept has been talked about over pretty much all of the FLR/Femdom subreddits, by most women and some men. Meanwhile, most men continue to not take any personal responsibility to cultivating themselves and the community, and instead repost memes that scream “I want a hot therapist and mom.”
Slut shaming no, hell I'm active on gwa and thought about posting myself.
This meme was made by an active gwa member. I'm into bdsm, why the hell would I slut shame you?
Addressing the Problem won't actually help and regarding Incels, they don't actually deserve any pity.
If they want to be hateful to others (and potentially harmful), then why should we fight them with the opposite?
They'll just toss it away and continue to live in their own sociohazardous bubble, immune to any form of help.
And besides, every gender faction seems to have become radically intolerant:
Toxic Feminists on the one side and hazardous misogynists on the other side.
And with every side building a tungsten wall around them to make everything worse, the chances of reconciliation and equal addressing of every arguing point are low.
Just a precaution, before I'm permanently banned here:
Look at r/FemaleDatingStrategy and the Incel Community, my words aren't completely wrong at least.
That subreddit is full of the toxic feminists you criticize
I wholeheartedly disagree. I would have stayed in my toxic bubble if my problem wasn't addressed.
men's mental health has never mattered to society and never will ,its all about women supremacy
Quite frankly you're barking up the wrong tree.
Maybe if people stopped blaming their problems on others they'd get shit done.
If you have a fucking problem do something about it then.
Truth be told, you care more about complaining about women than you do fixing the problem.
My advice?, mind your own damn business and get in line.
I think ideally this goes both ways where both partners support each other. I had a relationship like this once, it was great!
Yeah, that’s pretty much the same reason I left too, but I’m a sub so I luckily never had to experience those entitled guys whining firsthand.
Yea I’m about hald outta here for a similar reason. A good portion of it is “this isn’t rr/gfd this is just having a partner” and wish fulfillment with nothing in return. Driving me a little up a wall
Oh God, I thought it was just me being odd that I see so many posts from and/or about "subs" which are just guys who want to be sexually pleased and domestically serviced. My man, that is *not* what a sub is, that is a 1950s husband from the suburbs... Be a whole ass individual on your own who can exist without the help of a mother or a girlfriend for a year or two, then you can start looking for a Domme. (Disabilities obviously alter this.)
I think it is important to distinguish fantasizing from actual expectation. It is also important to not demean the feelings of others.
Comments like this make me feel really angry, alienated, and marginalized and I just want to explode
At least it's not as bad as certain people act though. I unsubscribed from /r/rolereversal precisely because of comments that marginalize men's needs
It’s a common thread in that subreddit and this one that depression and anxiety are common in men who are submissive or desire a Female Led Relationship. And the thing for me is, I desire the general idea of Femmedom and FLR and Role Reversal. But since this is Reddit, it’s a sub that is mostly male, and the community language constantly circles around “what can a Domme do for me?” instead of “what can I do for a Domme?”
Which is, exhausting.
I have always wondered if this is some kind of chicken and egg situation. I mean, are depressed men attracted towards femdom as a mean to seek the acceptance and affection they crave, or instead it's because they are submissive that many end up feeling depressed and lacking self-esteem after feeling rejected through their lives for being the way they are?
I think both seem about equally plausible, and maybe both are true to some degree depending on the person.
It's hard to focus on anyone else when you are so deprived
But that is also not to say that there is no selflessness. It is merely not the topic of the desire at the moment. I fantasize about what I can do a lot, but because of my own unmet needs it's not the focus.
Amen. This is the disheartening reality of GFD, but it’s refreshing for someone to be honest about it. I’m unpartnered right now, and I’ve stepped back from actively seeking a domme because I know I couldn’t bring half as much to the relationship as I would be taking out of it.
Honestly, I’m still trying to work out how much of my own kinks are either the product of past trauma or me projecting my own flaws and weaknesses onto a sexual relationship. By the time I’ve worked through all of that, I’ll probably be vanilla again.
“looks 12 acts 40”
that's a yikes from me pal
Freud can stay mad, dead, bald and irrelevant. My relationship is more important.
I feel it's like when you say bro to your friends, it's not your biological bro but you act, and in some culture calling sister, big bro it's normal, real incest it's sick lmao
Dude needed people looking at his own psyche instead of calling people a genius
He can't keep getting away with it
Jesus fucking Christmas what is with the comments in this thread.
EDIT: [Checks back] oh look it got even worse. Too many fucking angsty teenagers on both ends of the strapon in this subreddit.
Alot of people who spend to much and I mean way to much time in political bubbles so all they see is politics and fighting the other side. Even on memes, which as someone with a very strong MDLG kink I chuckled at this mainly cause I don't have mommy issues or any desire to have sex with my real mom I just like motherly personalities and that body type
Yep, just good old fashioned echo chamber radicalisation. It can happen to anyone.
I guess satire brings the worst out of people lmao
I came here to say how much I laughed out loud at the meme, now I'm just sad. We know there are problematic people in all sorts of kinks, there's no need to grandstand about it in the comments on a pretty harmless meme :/
i hate it when the misandrists come out to play whenever anyone brings up mommy kinks
Oiaybut now hand out the source of the drawings lol
"Faollan_art" on Instagram
*starts snorting a Mountain of cocaine*
*whites out, which he didn't think he could do*
Nothings like to receive cocaine from uncle Freud
Then it's wicked to know, that Freud had a high tolerance towards his drug
Sauce of all?
Go to horny jail lmao.
Listen to me and listen. Freud was a man with perhaps a mommy kink who decided that everyone must have a kink for mother’s. A lot of folks do it back in the day. But god is it really not great to look at
Dude nothing wrong with having fantasies but it's pretty disrespectful of the women on here to nessecitate this idealized projection of a dominant woman onto a subreddit that in concept prioritizes the actual relationship and bond between a gentle Dom and her sub. It's misogynistic and I'm sure it really hurts the women here when they feel like they're seen as nothing more than sex objects or robot maids by a lot of the male subs in this community. It's also setting yourself up to be disappointed. Being a sub should not mean being incapable of taking care of yourself or leaving all the work for your partner just because you find the idea of a motherly caretaker hot. Being a Dom should not mean being a crutch for everything in their partner's life. You probably don't like it when women saying they need a 6 foot macho man to be satisfied in a relationship, how is this different?
Role reversal/femdom should not mean one side has to pull all the weight. A relationship should be when both (or all, if poly) parties engaged in it benefit their partners both emotionally and practically. Even a house-spouse pulls weight in a relationship, doing chores and shopping and if applicable taking care of the kids while the other is at work.
If you want some perfect momma goddess to pamper you all your life, don't look here, man. The ladies here are too nice to deserve desperate lazy subs invading it with unrealistic standards.
Why is everyone upset about a satirical post? It's just a meme calm down
I'd consider myself less upset and more just a bit bewildered by how much this format keeps coming up in the subreddit. I just dislike the interruption of the more appropriate content here with this same fiasco of a comment thread happening again and again. And I can understand why it gets the women here upset, it comes off as if they aren't valued as human beings and just expected to be like that maid robot from the Jetsons but as a big hipped and boobed anime girl.
I'm not saying I'm above imagining myself in unrealistic sexual scenarios and joking about them, but more so I understand this is not the time and place for them nor is it cool to act like it's something you absolutely require in a relationship.
Let's just be a bit more considerate of how each other feel, okay. This isn't a one sided subreddit. Doms should respect Subs' feelings and Subs should respect Doms' feelings.
That being said, I didn't mean to come off as angry because of a meme.
[Me to Freud RN](https://youtu.be/a3_PPdjD6mg)
SIGMUND FREUD!? I swear I don't wanna fuck my mom pls a mommy kink is different Sigmund! Wait- NO SIGMUND IS WRITING A DISSERTATION ON MOMMY KINKS NOOOOOO
IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, FREUD
Okay I'm Not defending sigmund motherfucking fried but hear me out. Misogyny aside I think he was actually on to something.
I mean sure, the oedipus complex theory sounds ridiculous but if you look at it in a different perspective and take out some of the pieces and add others it actually sounds sane and holds some form of water.
Like Children can't survive without their mothers in a natural environment, and we can all agree that the life of Person and their whole basic mental structure will be shaped pretty early in life and parents most definitely have some influence on how it is shaped so when the mother figure has an out of ordinary be it neglectful, overbearing Or abusive relationship with the child, it will influence him in an out of the ordinary way. Which will lead him to seek attention and affection from a mother figure even if it is unconsciously or something.
I have zero experience in psychology and I'm sure a psych professor will pull his hair out Reading this but I'm just telling from my experience. The only logical reason I think I have a mommy kink is because I had a bad childhood and a really fucking weird relationship with my mom (nothing sexual, she was just beating me when I was little and gaslighting me to think that I was at fault for it. But she was also affectionate at times? Idk I have a weird family)
And that's the difference between an actual "Mommy kink" and wanting to project one's sexual desires onto their mother and seeing adult women as a proxy. It goes both ways regarding Mommy Dommes. There are some who are extremely caring and gentle, while others simply desire boys and look for men to be a "legal proxy."
One is kink, the other is mental illness.
This mommy kink thing isn't important to me because of the sexual aspect. I just look for something in my partner I didn't get from my actual mother, which in my case would be reassurance and affection without the abuse. And I don't bring any of my mental trauma with me if I am to get into a relationship, those are my problems and I will deal with them on my own.
In my honest opinion I think you're right.
But its fucking normalised to call your boyfriend daddy, but the same cant be said about "mommy domme". If we cant call the girls who call thier boyfriends daddy a mental patient then I think it would be unfair for the boys.
Jesus christ I am probably gonna regret this comment when I wake up cause i'm so sleep deprived atm
I agree with you. People don't realize that generally the first introduction to affection and acceptance from the opposite sex and an adult is from our parents, whether it's a lack thereof or an abundance. So it is natural to seek out a similar dynamic or replacement for the deficit in another when we become adults. That has nothing to so with sex or sexuality.
For many who use the term "kink" sex is involved, but for others, especially in your case the term "Mommy kink" is just a response to the perspective of the vanilla world believing that all desires of that nature whether they involve sex or not are a part of a mental illness. That's most of BDSM and kink.
And, I also agree regarding women being allowed to call men "Daddy" thing. It should go both ways. Although, I'll be honest to say that I'm PERSONALLY uncomfortable with anyone referring to me as "Mommy" in any sexual way, just as I'm uncomfortable calling anyone "Daddy" in a sexual way. That is just not MY kink.
Anyways its really late at night and english isn't my first language so im just gonna be blunt and ask you a question.
Are you saying that i'm mentally ill? I'm mot joking cause I quite literally cant comprehend sentences at this time.
Also Yeah, I dont just call any girl I meet "mommy". Kink is like the second most important thing for me in a relationship. Its only after I meet them establish a connection and trust them enough that I remove everything and start to be vulnerable in that sense of way for them. For me mutual understanding and trust is very important if i am to have that kind of relationship.
No. I'm not saying you're mentally ill at all. I'm saying that's the "norm."
I'm saying people who project their sexual desires onto their parents or a child and seek out proxies are mentally ill.
Those who seek out the affection/attention they received or lacked from their parents of the same or opposite sex are "normal."
The difference is in how we express an innate desire for connection (love) as a human being vs sexual desire as a human being. That's why people who are sexually abused as children often are told and believe the abuse is love, when it's not that at all! The person who abused them is expressing a sexual desire, NOT a desire for a connection/love.
EDIT: I appreciate your being blunt and just asking. It's better than assuming. By asking for clarification you give me the opportunity to explain. Thank you.
Well that's good to hear. :) you not calling me mentally ill part of course.
Oh god oh shit he found me fuck fuck fuck
chill. If the 'little boy' is actually an adult it's not pedophilia, it's just a kink you don't get.
If I could bring someone back from the dead I’d bring Freud back just so I can kill him myself
post saved. waiting for new comments of philosophical/psychological wisdom
He can't keep getting away with this!
"He can't keep getting away with it!"
A LOT of people are going to feel called out for this lol
he cant keep getting away with it