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R_Amods

This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- Me (24F) and my husband (32M) have been together for 6 years, and we got married 5 months ago. I really love him, and we get along pretty well. We’ve had a monogamous relationship so far, and he’s the first one I’ve had sex with (although he had some previous experience before me). The other day he came to talk to me and told me that he wants me to try to have sex with other men. He says that he doesn’t think it’s right for me to have only 1 person for the rest of my life sexually, and that I’ll be curious about it in the future, and that I need more experience. I’m not sure what to think about it. He says he’s okay with it as long as I use protection. We invited a few friends over this weekend, and the intention is not sex, we are really good friends. Some of them are single, and he told me to try it. I’m just wondering why he wants so bad me to have sex with other men. I don’t know if I want it or not.


beb252

It's a trap!


Zealousideal-Goose87

Agreed! 100% husband pulled the same shit on me, turned out he was cheating and this was his tactic to alleviate his guilt.


haffajappa

There was that other post recently too about the girl who got pregnant after her husband forced her to do this, then he up and left her over it!


Random_474

Wait I thought he was trying to win her back because they found out that the husband is the one that got her pregnant, not the friend


haffajappa

Oh maybe I missed an update to that whole saga?


Random_474

She wants to divorce him but where she is she can’t. Something about it has to be husband that has to file and he won’t. The friend who has proof of the husband asking him to fuck her blocked her and won’t be helping her tell the truth. This is what I remember, I could be wrong 😭 I don’t remember the username of the account, so if anyone have a link to the post I’m talking about 😅


PettyMayoo

Omg, I remember this post. Anyone have the link?


Temporary-Currency80

that’s so messed up


[deleted]

Did you say it with admiral ackbar’s voice?


Apprehensive-Bee-474

That's how I heard it.


toiletbrushqtip

Of course!


Apprehensive-Bee-474

It's totally a trap. I was thinking this even before I saw your comment.


BulkyBear

Also, math! A 26 year old was dating an 18 year old? Holy jail bait, yo


Wantyouradvice

We have this big outdoor pool and hot tub in the back yard. This was a couple weeks ago. My husband texted me and said he’d be home early. - [ ] That was the first text. I should have read the second text sent a couple minutes later - [ ] I decided to go skinny dipping. The weather was nice and I wanted to surprise him you know. - [ ] I took my white robe out to the pool for when I would get out. - [ ] Problem was is that I set it on the chair by the pool about 10 feet away. - [ ] Way too far when you’re nake d. - [ ] I’m sure you see where this is going. - [ ] It turns out that he brought 3 of his buddies home to hang out, shoot some hoops out on our tennis court, and have a beer. - [ ] They come in the house. I’m swimming around and hear my husband say honey, I’m home with the guys. - [ ] I immediately swim to the front edge of the pool facing the house to hide my body. - [ ] At this point I’m mortified. I was so dumb. I knew better. He brings his buddies over all the time. That’s what his second text was about. Anyways, I try to motion to him to come over so he can see my predicament and get the guys out of sights way. Instead, one of his buddies sees me motioning to come over. So he of course obliged me. I’m thinking like I mean holy crap. I’m so screwed!! He decides to sit down in the chair 10 feet away as to start up a lengthy conversation with me. I’m seriously turning red now. I try to smile and nod acting like nothing wrong and after like 10 minutes my husband finally steps out to say hi and that he was looking everywhere for me. At this point I come up with a brilliant idea and ask his buddy to grab me a glass of water. At first, my husband offers and I slightly shook my head left to right to give him a clue. Lucky he caught on and his friend ran off to get it. I immediately pointed to my robe and asked for it. At first, he didn’t realize what was going on and then I pushed out a little so he could see. Then he ran inside to redirect his buddies. Well. There you now have a piece of my blond side.


Redd_81

r/lostredditors WTF is the deal with this account?


sctbf

Yep. Listen to Admiral Ackbar.


eggbundt

So he was 26 and you were an 18 year old virgin when you got together? Now he’s encouraging you to have sex with other men and inviting friends over for the weekend. If this doesn’t sit right with you that is perfectly normal and okay. If I were you, I would not be home that night his friends come over. He just recently brought this idea up and is already inviting friends over? There is a possibility he discussed this with his friends before discussing it with you. You’re not a piece a meat for him to pass around.


emccm

There is NO WAY he hasn’t discussed this with his friends already. I’m sure they are all coming over thinking they’ll get a little taste of OP.


eggbundt

Hopefully OP will stay somewhere else for the night. Of course, it’s been 7 hours and no response so maybe just a troll post.


NewbornXenomorph

Seriously, this seems so over the top that I hope it’s fake.


Kersallus

Heres the problem- trolls usually interact for the laughs and say stupid counterintuitive things to drag out more responses. The way she expresses herself seems more like the kind of person who doesn't reply to advice she doesn't want to hear which im sure you've seen around here.


Wonderfulaguar7127

I think you are right.


cheezboorgir

This is it right here. He's giving really creepy vibes OP. How well do you know these friends?


Boysenberry_Loud

Isn't this literally the plot of most sex trafficking ads? Maybe I'm more aware since I live in a city thats known for it but holy cow this is.. Theres so many red flags here!


strawberrymuffinyay

Literally what i was thinking when i saw the age


Agitated_Public561

OP, at 24, could you imagine being attracted to an 18 year old? I know that you love him, but he has groomed you since you were young and impressionable. In retrospect, that should give you pause. He started encouraging you to have sex with other men just 5 months after you were married. In 6 years, he’s never expressed concern that you hadn’t experienced other men, but now that you’re contractually bound to him this is suddenly an urgent concern? So urgent that it needs to be addressed as soon as this weekend? This should give you pause as well. You’re writing to ask why he’s so adamant that you sleep with other men, but truthfully it doesn’t matter what his motivations are. While it’s all well and good for him to offer you the option, it’s not for him to decide how many sexual partners you should experience. Do not allow him to pressure you. If you don’t want to have sex with men outside of your marriage, you don’t have to. Only do what makes you comfortable.


TesekkurlerHoscaKal

How insidious... Probably gonna wanna go ahead and gtfoutta there OP!


Motherofsphynxes1908

Ahhh just made the 1k 🔝😎


Jsc1228

Search this app the questions about what’s it feel Like to have sex in front of your husband or boyfriend. It will give you access to additional questions about this and they may surprise you! I have the same feelings!


Sweetragnarok

Hello OP, there was a post here not too long ago...maybe like 2 weeks about a woman in the same scenario as yours. Husband wanted wife to have sex with other people., open the rel etc. the poster was originally reluctant but agreed with her hubby's friend. She ended up getting pregnant and then the husband became very abusive towards her, wants divorce, kick her out ect. The op for that post even made an update- its messy and lawyers are involved now. The who thing was a set up as he wanted out of the marriage. OP, u/yeaqx is right...this is a set up. **NEVER AGREE TO A SITUATION YOU ARE NEVER COMFORTABLE WITH** Especially when it comes to involving intimate relations. And if he wanted you to open up the relationship tell him if you agree to this there has to be set rules * Everything need to be signed and in writing including the sexual partner. * If you do so you will ALWAYS have protection, pills for you condoms for him. No contraceptive, no sex. Then also ask him if HE WANTED to be the one who is an open relationship. If you being monogamous is your stance, stand your ground but ask him if **He wants to be in an open rel**, if there is a person he is interested in? If he says he wants an open rel, ask yourself if this is something you are OK with. If you are OK with him being poly and you mono, again set up those rules and what if situations. Put them all in writing and documented. The OP in the post I mentioned is in a serious legal issue bec everything was verbal or in snap chat and the husband made sure no traces were found so he can divorce her, pay no alimony et.. on the grounds of cheating. But if you arent- then time to evaluate if you and your hubby are compatible in the long term. **Never put yourself in a situation that you have even a 1% doubt of** **Edit** Attempt to fix my horrible grammar


Lhx-23

I just came into this post to tell her the same fucking thing about the same thing, and the earlier post!!! RRUUUNNNN!


Vindictive_Wolf

>If you do so you will ALWAYS have protection, pills for you condoms for him. No contraceptive, no sex. Condoms for her as well, or the guy she is planning to sleep with.


Sweetragnarok

You always need to come packin!


AveryAverina

I remember that one. It was a disaster! Poor girl accused of cheating from giving in to her husband's request. I remember her husband said she's 'tainted' after she did it. She also never been with any man except her husband. Please be careful. Please don't do this OP! This is a set up.


SpicyStrawberryJuice

Do you have the link to the original post? I want to read the update


RisingQueenx

26 year old goes after an 18 year old virgin. Red flag. Suddenly wants you to have sex with others once you're married. Secure and trapped in the relationship, harder to leave. Second red flag. Wants you to have sex with other men, and invited friends around that he encourages you to get with. Sounds like he already discussed it with them. Red flag number three. This sounds a lot like the behaviour of predators who get with young inexperienced women, then pimp them out to their friends and other strangers. Edit: made error about when they got married. Changed it now.


WeeklyConversation8

They got married 5 months ago, not 5 months into the relationship. I agree with everything else.


RisingQueenx

Ah yeah, my bad!


WeeklyConversation8

I can't count how many times I have misread things. I've also made comments that made no sense. Sometimes due to lack of coffee, other times I write one thing, then change what I want to say, but don't change everything, so it makes no sense.


RisingQueenx

God yeah, I do that all the time too! Haha


zoebucket

5 months or 5 years in he was still a 26 year old grown ass man praying on an 18 year old CHILD (yeah, I said it—CHILD). Just because they’re married now doesn’t make him any less predatory or absolve him of whatever he’s trying to do here. This man seems to have been grooming her from the jump. ETA: I see that you weren’t discounting the original comment and don’t want you to think I’m attacking you because you corrected lol


WeeklyConversation8

Yeah, it's not good. This whole scenario sounds like a set up for something bad to happen to OP. He leaves her saying she cheated, he is setting it up so he can cheat, or the worst, he sets her up to have sex whether she wants to or not, by these "friends". Apparently that happened to a woman who posted on here. I don't know when because I didn't see the post, but someone else mentioned it. OP needs to go somewhere else the night they come over for her safety.


Thundercat1983

An 18 year old child? I dont think that word means what you think it means. What state do you live in? She can go to war but dating a 26 year old is weird? Like it or not, she was a consenting adult. Probably not a good foundation for a lasting relationship, but all above board.


Lumi_92

They probably say child because at 18, you still have the exact same mid concept you did at 17. Just because you turned 18, doesn’t mean your mind magically changes and you are older and more mature now. You are still the same person, a child. Yes, you can legally consent, but it’s not like you suddenly change and are an adult. We don’t even know if they knew each other beforehand and he was just waiting for her to “become legal”


Cheap_Ideal

He might be watching too much of the wrong porn


Exact-Response-7719

I'm dying 💀


[deleted]

[удалено]


ColinPlays

Gah, people, don't upvote this — it's just a bot farming karma by agreeing with other posts. They're all over the place and getting worse…


zoebucket

May I ask—what incentive do bots have for doing that? Please excuse my ignorance.


FerociousPinecone

Some of the replies are a bit generic but it looks like a legit account. Supposedly you can sell accounts with reddit karma to people that want to post other stuff and have themselves appear more credible, the more karma the more valuable. No idea why. Beyond exceeding the karma requirements for posting around Reddit, karma is fairly useless and you don't even see it unless you go to someone's profile which most people don't.


ColinPlays

Nothing to excuse — I was equally ignorant until recently — and thank you for asking so politely. The long story short is accounts that appear "natural," i.e. that have a relatively lengthy posting history and positive karma counts, can be sold to various entities (corporations, governments) for use in astroturfing and/or marketing campaigns. Since these accounts appear tied to real people at a glance they lend credence to whatever they support. There's a lot more on it at https://www.reddit.com/r/KarmaBotKillers/wiki/index.


[deleted]

He probably banged another woman already and feels guilty so wants you to bang other men. Or he wants to bang other women


[deleted]

This OP.


Dachshundmom5

My first reaction is that this is a set up to hold it over your head or divorce you with you at fault. My next thought was he is, or wants to be, sleeping with someone else and wants you to sleep with someone to justify his actions. I'd look into marriage counseling and I would do NOTHING outside of the marriage at all. Also consider an STI test.


NoHandBananaNo

>Some of them are single, and he told me to try it. This is really messed up. He is moving WAY too fast for this to be any kind of rational or potentially consensual thing. - You two have never even talked about an open marriage before, this is escalating way too fast. 🚩 - His rationale is weird and seems to be trying to present this as a favour to you/what you want, but its not coming from you its coming from him. Thats manipulative.🚩 - He didnt give you time to process it or discuss it further. You dont even understand it. 🚩 - He already has these guys picked out FOR you and may have already given them permission or a heads up, before he talked to you. 🚩 - He wants all this to happen in the context of multiple of his friends are present in your house, who would presumably all know about it. Thats not a great environment. 🚩 This whole thing screams sexual coercion OP. I think you should seriously consider staying with family or a female friend this weekend. If he happens to have isolated you from your family and friends, get a hotel. Then next week sit him down and have a serious talk about why none of this is okay.


Adventurous-Place-10

Be careful. There was a post not too long ago about this man who insisted his wife have sex with other men. She didn’t want to but did it to tell him that see I did it and I’m not into this. Well as soon as she did it he made a big fuss telling her she cheated and left the house,told family and friends she cheated on him. Him though didn’t want her to use any protection. She ended up being pregnant but not by the man she slept with but her husband ( he probably wish she‘d get pregnant with the other man, it would’ve suit his narrative of her cheating) then he wanted to come back to her So it was horrible situation for her. So don’t rush into this. It could have underlaying motive. Maybe cheating on his part and if you do it you could also expect there could be changes in your relationship. He could be open to it now but feeling jealous after it happens. And you get to choose who you sleep with.


yeaqx

First of all, as others have said, you're free to do or not do anything you want or don't want. Keep that in mind and establish it to him firmly. As for where this is coming from, there are a few reasons I could think of: - Best case scenario: He is genuine and does want to encourage you to live out your sexuality fully, in any context. If that's the case you can just tell him you are perfectly happy with him and other men don't interest you. (Unless they do. Then you can go get it, only after making sure he is actually genuine.) - He could be insecure. Maybe he thinks he can't satisfy you, or someone said something along the lines that you might get bored in the relationship. I don't know where or from whom that would come from, but it's a possibility. - This could be a setup. He may want to use this as leverage to open up your marriage, because he wants to have/has sex with other women. I don't know if any of my ideas are on point, but in any case more communication is in order. Get to the bottom of where this is coming from.


OpinionatedNonsense

These are all good thoughts, I just want to add a fourth possibility: he's got a hotwifing kink


yeaqx

True, also possible. There's no way to know unless OP digs deeper I guess.


samse15

I’m also wondering (if they are in the US or another place where this might matter ofc) if proof of infidelity can get him a better settlement in a divorce. Or do they have a prenup that specifically has an infidelity clause? There’s a reason he’s throwing his friends at the OP… not encouraging her to meet a stranger… and I think it could be because he wants proof of her infidelity.


mutationc

Best reply by far


cjosten

Contrary to popular belief, a person doesn't need to sleep with multiple people before settling down. It's not for him decide if you will regret having been intimate with only one person in your entire life. I don't know if he's trying to fulfill some fantasy, or if he's genuinely trying to help in some twisted way, but if you are perfectly content with your life and your choices, then tell him "thanks, but no thanks."


PMME_UR_LADYPARTSPLZ

On the flip side, my first marriage ended because my wife wanted to “experience life” because we met young. I doubt this guy has the foresight to actually believe that but MAYBE he has read enough stories on social media or friends are in his ear warning him. I mean it is possible he means it. This is where, like every post, communication and asking questions are the best answer. She needs either say no, i dont want to, or to find out why he really wants to and decide from there.


Schnauzerbutt

That's frankly quite odd. I would suspect this is a personal kink of his he wants to explore using you, a trap, or he's cheating and wants feel better about it by having you sleep around too. It could be an awkward way of asking for an open relationship, but the fact that he told you you should instead of just floating the suggestion is really off putting. Maybe that's because I'm in a sexually open relationship and it was something we both wanted and discussed before we even got serious. There was never a "you should do this" vibe to it and honestly that would turn me off. It was part of a general discussion about personal preferences and boundaries and it wasn't just out of the blue.


punkie23

Sounds like a set up


eggbundt

I remember a post by a woman whose husband tied her up in bed then let all of his friends in to rape her. It was horrific.


PracticalWest

I remember that one too and I still think about her from time to time when things like this are posted and hope she was able to get away and is doing ok. The last thing I remember is her calling the cops from the bathroom she locked herself in when she was untied. What a fucking monster.


Xx_didgy_xX

Jesus. I can't even imagine


mutationc

And would find it arousing though... Disturbing


hello__brooklyn

Tf


Ruhumunfreski

Omg 😱 terrible


Positive_Mango_2783

Um I think you need to ask if he has been stepping out on you or if he intends to. Sounds sketchy.


emccm

You are not a piece of meat that he gets to pass around to other men for his pleasure. Don’t let him coerce you in to this lifestyle.


Routine-Pea-9538

1) he wants to have sex with other women 2) it's his fetish 3) he wants to watch Any combination of the above. You do **not** have to do anything you are not comfortable with. Don't let other people normalize this kind of behavior if you're not into it. It seems trendy to talk about poly, but it is not the right decision for everyone. Talk to a trusted friend that is **not** your husband.


OrangeSockMonkey

There was a post that I believe was on this subreddit a few weeks ago about something similar. It was about a woman who finally got away from her controlling abusive husband who pimped her out to his friends. Around the same age gap and same excuse. He pushed her into it, convinced her it was good for both of them, even if she was uncomfortable. She felt disgusting and violated for years because of it. If you don't want to do this, don't be home this weekend. He's already planned it out and his buddies know. This could turn into that other post post year ago when a woman's bf invited his buddies over and gang raped her and she had to hide in the bathroom until the cops forced their way into the home. The bf and his friends swore it was consensual and didn't want her to leave until she agreed with them.


eggbundt

That was probably the most horrible thing I ever read on Reddit. You know a few of them probably filmed it too.


OriginalUsername1737

>Me (24F) and my husband (32M) have been together for 6 years > he’s the first one I’ve had sex with So a 26 year old went after an 18 year old with limited experience? >we got married 5 months ago. And as soon as you get married he starts pushing you to have sex with other men? This is going to go well.


Ok_Front8526

he wants to have sex with other women by using this as an excuse


AssignmentOpen6112

I sincerely hope it isn’t the case, but this seems like it could be a potential sex trafficking situation. Please do not do it. Even if that is not the case, this sounds like a trap and an unhealthy relationship. 26 year old dates an 18 year old version then want to pass you around to your friends? Do not do this.


WritPositWrit

This is definitely a bad idea. I have no idea what his plan is, I don’t know him, but it’s bad.


SolNight

Definitely sounds like a setup to me. The fact your husband wants you to "try it" with friends makes this situation even more bizarre and disturbing. Something is suspicious, imo. It is possible that he could just be really overthinking and said some nonsense out loud. So I'm not 100% what his motivation is here. Either way, you should tell him no and how his request makes you feel. I also think you should probably avoid the get-together he has planned this weekend, perhaps stay at family member/friend's place for the next day or so. If he quickly realizes this is a terrible idea, then maybe some counseling (especially individual therapy for him) can fix things and the two of you can move on from this. If he demonstrates any gaslighting, anger, frustration, etc towards your discomfort with the idea, then you should consider an annulment/divorce.


hello__brooklyn

You might have aged out for him and now he wants another 18 year old but wants you to step outside the monogamous relationship first to make his stepping out look mutual. IJS


urooszk

You guys have been together 6 years and he *suddenly* realizes 5 months into the marriage that you should have more experience? He’s either gonna get paid for it or wants to use this as an excuse to pull some shit. No one wants their wife to sleep with someone else out of the goodness of their heart


greatgrandmasylvia

oh girl RUN!!!😭 this man has very bad intentions


Revy_Fox

he's pimpin you out


romeo_is_jetli

He's been grooming you for this. I'd divorce and leave asap. You are not safe when his friends come over. They will force the issue. Please be safe.


Kentmcfreaky

He is probably into swinging or wife swapping. It’s kind of sounding creepy imo. If you don’t know if you want to, it’s a bad idea. Don’t do anything without knowing 100% it’s something you want. I’m assuming he has a kink of some sort that he should’ve told you about before marriage. I would be careful, it sounds like grooming


ThePunchlineIsFunny

Don't ignore your gut instinct and don't let him make all the decisions - he's already invited your friends, and as far as you know in your 6 years of being with him, this is the first time this has ever come up. I would go to my parents house or a friends house if I were you, do not do anything you are not comfortable with.


Solgatiger

He’s hoping to get a pass for sleeping with other people by “encouraging” you to do the same thing. Things are gonna get ugly when you say that’s not what you want and he’s already found someone to warm your bed without you in it. That, or he’s already cheating on you and is trying to introduce you to the idea of a “poly” marriage where you will basically become the third wheel in your own relationship. Never accept any one else trying to force their views on how they believe you need more experience by having sex with other people if you are already in a relationship. Unfortunately I believe it’s time for you to drop out of this one.


Haunting-Row-3961

There was a similar incident reported on Reddit- the husband forced the wife to have sex with his friend while he was present then promptly disappeared and filed for divorce on grounds of cheating. The other guy involved refused to give any evidence ( messages from husband) that it was organised by the husband…. Be careful


RobWins2022

>He says that he doesn’t think it’s right for me to have only 1 person for the rest of my life sexually, and that I’ll be curious about it in the future, and that I need more experience. I’m not sure what to think about it. He's fucking someone else nowadays and wants you to cheat too, so you will be on equal footing. Get tested, even though you might not like the results.


fak_beauty_standards

Gross. First he grooms you. Then he pimps you out. 🤢


firefly232

Don't do it! Don't have sex with strangers. Don't even entertain the idea of being a "party piece" for his friends. This is really weird. Why does he think you'll do this, just because he says to? You're not a sex doll for him to pimp to his friends You only just got married, why didn't he bring this up before!?! This is absolutely very worrying.


Blueberry-Huge

Check your house for hidden cameras. Once you're on the Internet, it's forever.


RicketyTicketyTock

Someone told him that, don't do it. It sounds like someone else got into his ear and said that it isn't right and that you should try it out and he's believing them, when in his gut he can probably feel that wrenching feeling about it. Look, there are people out there who will legitimately try to sabotage a relationship, and there are people out there who legitimately believe that having only one sexual partner for the rest of your life is terrible and that you "need" to try it with a few people. There's nothing wrong with only having one sexual partner in your life. Don't do what you don't want to do.


knowsaboutit

um, based on your post, you don't want it! it wasn't your idea, you didn't instigate it, and you're not out looking. If you wanted it, you would have known it. Don't let other people decide what you should do sexually- that's 100% everyone's own personal decision. He has some reasoning he's not sharing with you- could be he's already cheated and wants to 'erase' his guilt about it, or any number of other things. Sometimes spouses to this to get a more favorable divorce settlement- push the other into activity, then later deny it and act like they are the victim of a horrible "cheater". Get to the bottom of what's really going on here! Something seems horribly off with him...and, no offense, but you seem naive and you need to get street-smart and look out for yourself!


Emvalen1968

If you are not comfortable,don't do it.


goodboybane

Do you want to have sex with other men? If the answer is no, then tell him no.


Sighs_a_Lot_67

There are too many stories of the husband wanting this and then getting jealous and then divorced. Don’t do it. Role play together if you want but don’t bring someone else in. Too big of a risk.


sweetiepotpie

This…. Is intensely creepy. Does not sit right with me


Temporary-Currency80

don’t do that


thummydick

If anything get it in writing that this is his idea and have him sign it then make a copy of it


justk1tt3naround

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩


Alarmed_Finance_432

Don't do it. Its easy to say this now but once its done you both may regret it and he may very well turn on you later down the road or wants a free pass to do the same and if thats the case, how would you feel about that? If the answer is no way, again, don't do it. There is a reason why most couples don't mess around with outside the marriage relationships. You might be opening up a GIANT can of worms if you do it. People get divorced all the time because of cheating even if its technically not because he knows.


NatureCarolynGate

Be very careful with this. It has the potential to blow up in your face and destroy both of you and your relationship. If you don't want to do this, don't. I will explain. There was a post a few weeks ago, that was not an homology to what you are experiencing, but there could be enough potential issues to be more than an analogy. This woman mentioned in her post that her husband had developed a kink [I know this is difference from your situation] where he was continually fantasizing about watching his wife fuck another guy. He bugged her about it so much, she relented, even though she was not interested in doing this act. She was doing it for her husband. Well, fantasy and reality do not always align. The next day, her husband lost his mind. He was verbally abusing her, called her all sort of nasty names and said she cheated on him. He went to his family and lied, saying she stepped out of the marriage and he found out she cheated. It eventually destroyed their marriage. I know this isn't exactly the same thing, but your husband may very well view you in a different light if this was to play out and you slept with someone else while married to him. Hypotheticals are not real until they are. This could also affect you. If you go through with this for his supposed piece of mind, you may grow to resent him for pushing to do this thing that you may not want to do. Your husband is worried you are going to cheat as he is your only partner. But, it sounds like you made the decision to marry him, and him being your only partner was/is not an issue.


fooseballpro

I see red flags


onlyhalfvampire

At absolute best, he is insecure and has his own baggage, and this will not help with that at all. At worst, I am really concerned for your safety. Do you have local friends/family? Can you make a plan to get out asap if you need to?


myevillaugh

It's unlikely this will end well. It could be a trap. He may decide he can't handle the thought of you being with someone else after it happens. He could be covering an affair. Maybe he's trying to open the marriage. Maybe it's a fetish for him. 🤷‍♂️


Zeratul_Artanis

He wants to sleep with other women. It's a controlled guilt tactic, by forcing you I to it he can say "but you've done it", "it's not fair" etc. Definitely don't do anything you wouldn't be comfortable with.


RevolutionaryWeb4416

I've seeen sooo many, MANY post where the wife is baffeledthat after they finally screwed another guy The husband starts screaming at them that they cheated. I've come to the conclusion that the husbands fantasy is a wife getting screwed by a man who isn't their husbands. A wife, not their wife. So do this at your own risk. If its your fantasy and its something you think you should try, do it. But if it isn't something you want to do, for the love of god don't, dont put yourself in that position. No matter how much he pleads, it aint gonna go well. Nr 1: It can backfire Nr 2: You could feel violated since its something you've never wanted Nr 3: You could get pregnant by another man (if you're into that then so be it. Just remember that no protection is 100%) If you dont care about any of that, have fun.


BreeGee999

Do not do anything you are not comfortable with or want to do just to please your husband.


uchihapower17

Weirdo


The_Notorious_Ruff

A few weeks ago I read a post in this thread in which a woman got that suggested by her husband. He told her to have sex with some dude (don't know if random guy or they knew him) because it would help their marriage. She got pregnant and her husband wanted to divorce her, but once it turned out he was the father he made what seemed like a 180 and "forgave her for her mistake and cheating", while it was his suggestion. In the end he made himself look like a saint in this scenario while he probably wanted to divorce her and have the better cards in the divorce case. Just wanted to drop this here, made me immedieately remember that .


Duchess_p

Thats probably his kink


xJazba

Boy, bye.


johnnyfindyourmum

Alright, we see this kinda thing a lot on reddit. Usually it ends really badly. He'll break down and accuse you of enjoying yourself to much and he'll learn quick that he can't handle another man pleasuring his wife. If you do go down this dangerous path. Start with kissing only and wait a few weeks and see how it sets in his mind. After this don't go with a complete champion in the sack for your first try, make sure the guys kinda meh otherwise it just gets worse. Most guys can't handle seeing their wife moan in ways they never could with them with another guy.


Bethanyann1292

Assuming his motives are purely as he told you, although I think you should know they probably are not, you need to understand that sex can be a very emotional thing even if before you never saw Friend A in this light you may after. And even if you can detach yourself from the emotional bond (although quite unlikely) your husband probably will not be able to and may very well end up getting very upset about this. Maybe not the day or week after, but anytime an argument comes up he may throw it in your face. Honestly could you deal with that? And moreover would you even want to deal with that when you do not even want to sleep with this other guy/guys? However I truly do not believe his motives to be pure and you should definitely be on your guard because he probably talked to his friends about this before you and do you really wish to be treated like chattel by him?


NoDecision9588

He probably wants you to do that cause he wants to do it with other women also. He just doesn’t know how to ask you so he’s giving you the opportunity, then he’ll turn around and ask if he can try. Does he want to be there when you do it or is he giving you permission to go out on your own?


chuckitnfuckitbucket

Rule number 1 to having an open relationship. Don't crap were you sleep!!!! In other words,DO NOT SLEEP WITH ANYONE YOU BOTH ARE FRIENDS WITH. DO NOT SLEEP WITH ANYONE HE KNOWS! RULE #2 Don't let feelings develop. In other words, DON'T BRING THAT SHIT HOME WITH YOU. I would avoid this all together since he's not mentioning himself as part of the open relationship. But if you do, don't fuck friends. Very important or your guaranteed trouble, not maybe, but 100% guaranteed!


IsaKaka

Don't do anything that you don't feel comfortable with doing or want to do. There's nothing wrong with you and you don't have to learn anything just because he says it. If he can't stand with being with you, then girl, believe me that you deserve better.


Dapper_Bus6839

Guilt trip


No_Satisfaction3819

Either A: he wants a reason to divorce you, or to justify treating you like crap cause he can't keep up the act any longer OR He wants to PIMP YOU OUT. Either way, not good news for you OR your marriage.


Thundercat1983

Nope! Whatever his reasons, NONE of them are good for your relationship.


Ok_Actuary_7831

He's trying to sabotage your marriage. Tell him to get therapy or you'll leave him for degrading you like that. Unless you want to have sex with other men, in which case - have at em!


EchoEquani

I would suggest that you don't do that because later on he could use this against you if he decided to file for divorce and lie and say that you cheated on him and that's his reason for him divorcing you.Think about what would happen if you got pregnant, or got a std, or Aids or Hiv?What if he recorded your liaisons and posted them on various sites or the other man did it what would you do?What if one of the men became obsessed with you?What if the man you slept didn't show any indication he was not mentally balanced and he killed your husband because he decided he wanted you for himself?People are evil and crazy nowadays!There is a lot things to think about I would also want know why does he really want you to do this so badly?I am not buying his reason.


BeautifulWorking6

A few options 1 someone made him really insecure 2 he is trying to trick you into cheating so he can relieve his own guilt or divorce you 3 he genuinely believes this??? Do as you wish, not as he wishes, and if that includes sex with others ok cool enjoy. But I think you need to sit him down and ask where this is coming from.


KartoffelPaste

Could be a projection trap or it could be a cry for help from self-esteem issues/insecurities. I would recommend not doing this at all and going to counseling together. I suspect this is anxiety-related and from insecurities, since I have the same worries with my own SO, and that's what it's based on for me. I think you two can work through it together and come out stronger and with a closer bond.


madamdepompadour

Run!


pleaseassign

As I look back on my marriage, I suspect that my ex husband wanted me to have sex with other men. It is a thing. One kink is to have sex with other men as your husband watches. I would really take a good look at your husband’s behavior, all of it, and see if he is a bit suspicious. I would def not do it.


macsquoosh

This is the fastest way to throw your relationship away ....


b1gd1cv1rgin

Admiral Ackbar would like to have a word with you, u/someone---5...


The_Twat_Waffle1997

My husband did basically the same thing. It's his kink though. I tried it (about 6 men) and ehh it wasn't for me. Though since stopping he kinda bugs me about it. Like asking why I stopped or if I will start again. He really liked it though it caused some of our bigger fights. So that could be what it is (it could be his kink)


Outrageous-Ad759

When my ex husband brought up me sleeping with someone else he was trying to reduce the guilt he felt for him already sleeping with someone else!


BigCob3Hundo

Breakup incoming in 3, 2, 1


Space_McFish

You need to run. Quickly. Your husband is borderline, if not entirely predatory.


kxrie

He's probably cheating on you and is trying to even it out with telling you to have sex with other men


km956

I’m sorry but it sounds like he’s trying to alleviate his guilt, he wants sex with other people/ feels bad for feeling that way and needs something to make it better in his head- putting it on you “I feel bad your stuck with me for the rest of our life’s” y’all are married he shouldn’t feel bad about that. There is more to the story most likely


BAT_1986

Sounds like a good time to start practicing saying “No”


Trip_piestHippy

I'm not sure about anyone else, but I feel very nervous for OP. OP, if you are reading all of these comments, you should respond or edit your post just so we know you are okay, please. I feel very nervous that there is no response since being posted and a potentially sex traffic/bad situation taking place.


ttandam

Stop everything you’re doing and call a trusted friend and a therapist immediately. And probably an attorney. This is bizarre and you shouldn’t meet his “friends.” Get professional help. Whatever you do don’t have kids until this is settled. I’d leave for the weekend rather than see these friends. Do you have friends or family in the area you could go stay with? Husbands don’t do this. It’s not normal. Especially early in marriage. He’s trying to open up your relationship, probably bc he cheated. Maybe it’s insecurity but highly unlikely. “I don’t want you to be limited to one person your whole life” means he doesn’t want to be limited anymore to one person. An open marriage is a marriage in name only. I’m sorry to say this but this is likely the end of your marriage. Don’t open up sexually on his terms. You will end up with so much heartache and potentially sexual trauma.


cobojobo

He insecure he can’t satisfy you long term


Babydoll0907

Good grief, everyone calm down! First of all, not every age gap is a red flag whether someone is a virgin or not. Second, he may have compersion (a desire to see your partner pleased by others) and a sharing kink. Millions and millions of people do. All your accusations could be nothing more than projections. She knows the dynamic of her relationship. No one else, FFS. There's a 12 year age gap between myself and my husband. I was 33 and he was 21 when we started dating and our relationship is healthy. Should she proceed with caution? Absolutely. But all the things you guys are accusing her SO of are ridiculous without knowing the guy first hand. Oh and this is what OP said about friend coming over. Not a single word about the SO taking it upon himself to invite a bunch of guy friends over to have sex with her. You guys literally made that up. "We invited a few friends over this weekend, and the intention is not sex, we are really good friends" OP if you are willing to do this, proceed with caution. Go on a swingers site and search hotwifing. Read up on it. Have many discussions about it. Do it in a healthy way if you do it at all. If you don't want to, be firm and tell him no and to stop pushing the idea.


Miserable-Cheetah683

This is a big red flag. Do you want your husband to cheat on you? Maybe he did and he is feeling guilty? You should have sex with the people you love and treat your body like ur temple. Is not for people to fantasize about. If you go ahead with this, your life will never be the same. I think probably best to run away from this relationship before you start a family with him. or seek marriage counselling, but do not go ahead with his plan.


[deleted]

Wow a 26 y/o picked a virgjn 18 y/o?? This reeks of insecurity, control and manipulation. IDK what mind games this guy is playing with you but you seem to deep in it because you married him. I would run away cause he’s a predator. Not sure what his intentions are but that’s sketchy AF. Don’t wait until he gets you drunk or something and then invite a guy friend and you’re being taken advantage of under the cover of “trying new things”. This is scary. Run.


cancergirl-peanut65

There are people who act lhow your husband describes . However do not take him up on it. Even if he is genuine there is a very good chance he will regret this. Even if he swears he won't. Don't even think about doing it. At worse it's a trap.


captkirkcobain

Just tell him you will think about it and it’s not something you want right now. Easy peazy


funwife2021

R/Hotwifelifestyle


Cutiebigboi

My wife says your lucky. She’s dead now


Juniperlane-

I’ve only read a few comments, but my two cents are: this is a legitimate kink for some men (including my husband’s) so it isn’t necessarily a trap. You shouldn’t engage with it if it makes you uncomfortable... but on the other hand, it can be very nice to know that you are allowed to flirt with other men if you want to, and don’t have to be sexually tied to one person. In my case, my husband is my emotional support partner, and I love him for his intellect and conversations. And he actually prefers to be put in that box, and not have pressure to be the dominant sexual partner as well. So it be a good idea to talk to him about his motives and do some research before making any decisions.


No_Feeling8297

He says that he's okay with it. I don't know him, but being a man, I wouldn't be surprised if 3 or 6 months from now he is torn up about it, and it sinks your marriage.


UniqueUsername82D

He either genuinely is worried you may be curious about it in the future and wants to nip it now, gets turned on by the thought of you with other guys, or hopes he will be able to sleep with other women eventually. If it's 1 or 2, you need to think about how you feel about either of those, and certainly clarify with him which it REALLY is. If you don't like scenario #3, be sure to make that clear NOW. Like, "Even if I do go along with this, I will never be okay with you sleeping with other women."


dragonborne123

The last time I read a post like this the “encouraging” partner was cheating and prompted other sex partners to make the situation “even”.


oldladywww

Tell him you would too but not with him there.


Krazy_xuan

He may be insecure, communicate your feelings with him. Another thing y’all could try is a 3some or if you do have sex with another person but still don’t feel good about it, maybe see if both parties are willing for him to be there as a spectator. It may sound weird, but what ever works best for y’all. Communication and consent on all parties is the biggest keys here.


Honest_Appointment90

I don’t understand why he wants that, you can get more experience with him and teach other what you guys like and don’t like. He wants someone to pound his wife . WTF is wrong I guess some people are into weird shit now days


Wonderful-Put-2453

He wants you to do it, so he can do it (or has done it).


Parzival9_

I think you need to go for your gut. What he is saying sounds a little too much like some pornography, and that’s not that good, sex it’s not as light as it might seem to him, maybe he wants to do the same thing and he is just waiting for you to do it


MRSobviously

Maybe he had an ONS and want to cover it with this idea?!


recyclopath_

Yeah no. Don't do anything in bed that you don't actively want to do. Including dealing with the fall out.


hungoverasfuck121

sounds like he wants you to have sex with someone else to then relive the guilt that he has or he wants you to want someone else to justify his feelings towards someone else


livingfortheliquid

Nomatter what you or he wants to do. Now is a time for talking not acting. Might not "be a trap" could very well be into it. Nomatter what talking about it is the right thing to do now. If you decide after lots of talk to move forward. Remember, you two make the rules. So a first experience could be just kissing to see how it goes. Then proceed after much talking. So don't do anything but talk for now.


ezagreb

Sounds like he might get his jollies from this. Unless this is some ambition of your I suggest you not do this - it will very likely change your marriage for the worse.


HeinzThorvald

/ I don’t know if I want it or not. If you don't know that you do, you don't.


dachamy

I think he's cheating on you and he wants to feel better about it


sweepyhwead

Why don't you just sleep with a woman instead problem solved and let him find out afterwards


Wolfface12

Don’t do it


PracticalSafe2157

He wants to open the relationship and have sex with other women he doesn't care about you ! Get out of this weird relationship and find someone who will respect you !


Water-goddess-777

Hi this is 10000% your decision. Do not do anything you don’t absolutely want to do yourself. This could cause a huge problem with you down the road if you do. Him wanting you to do something doesn’t mean you are obligated too. If you are open to it then for sure try it. Maybe try swinging? I don’t know if maybe it’s just a fetish of his but it’s a good idea to go to councelibg with him to talk about this and what he’s seeking.