T O P

I don't like my personality. I'm always apologizing and thanking things that I don't have to be thankful for

I don't like my personality. I'm always apologizing and thanking things that I don't have to be thankful for

Arafat67

Once you've accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you. Change is not an easy thing. Remember before you start. Because once you walk that path, there is no going back. Try to apply this: 1. Read healthy books. Nothing is comparable to knowledge, The more you know, the more you learn about yourself, your mistakes, how to change them. 2. Hit the gym. It will give you strength and boldness. 3. Meditation. It will make you mindful. 4. Make a list of toxic people around you. And eliminate them from life. They suck positive energy like parasites suck blood. 5. Be disciplined. Yeah, it's pain. But no choice. 6. Stop talking more than necessary. Your words should be worth telling. 7. Don't explain a lot to people. They don't care if you want to change or not. They don't need to. 8. Change for yourself. Not for other's respect. Just for self respect. 9. Cure any addiction. 10. Eat right, sleep in time. No one is perfect and you don't need to be all of these above. But have a great goal in life and following correct rules will help you go further. No matter, how many people leave you for your change, you will be a person who can attract hundreds some day. Be patient and work in silence.


TruckTires

"Stop talking more than necessary. Your words should be worth telling" Thanks I needed to hear this.


padadow

Thank you a lot! I will apply those advice that you have given me :) Is there any book that you'd recommend to me?


Arafat67

1. 12 Rules for life by Jordan Peterson 2. The compound effect by Darren Hardy 3. The power of habit by Charles Duhigg. They were life changing for me.


padadow

Thank you so much. Many people recommended "12 rules for life" to me. I will read them all!


Arafat67

Good luck man. You got it.


Robdjt

Also: Breaking the habit of being yourself by Joe Dispenza is this exactly


burgertronics

Your self awareness is amazing. A lot of times being aware is enough to inspire a lot of organic change. A good place to start is to observe other people. Watch how actors do it in movies. Study them. Watch people in social groups. Go to crowded places and listen to people talking. Watch their body language. We are all actors. ​ When you're in a social situation, stay quiet and watch everyone. Do this until things start to click! You look like you want the change to come from within which starts with your self worth and your self respect. It sounds like you want to be more "reserved". ​ It might feel uncomfortable at first to do things differently than you have before. You might do it "too much" or it might be too obvious but you'll even out and make it something that's yours. ​ It's best to practice on a group of strangers, like at a Meetup event where everyone is a stranger but still expected to talk to each other. Then try it on your friends. ​ I think a good place to start Googling also "how to be more serious", or "how to be more reserved socially". It's obvious but you'd be amazed at home many articles there are by thoughtful people who have been in your shoes and achieved what they set out to do. ​ Good luck!


wiifitsme

>It's best to practice on a group of strangers, like at a Meetup event where everyone is a stranger but still expected to talk to each other. Then try it on your friends. This! I know things are not yet back to normal but join some local groups of anything and just go in with i do not give a f about those people liking me, i am here to practice and work on myself.


padadow

Thanks a lot for your help! Practicing with strangers seems like a great idea. I will apply what you tell me in my life


burgertronics

Good luck! :)


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Pulsinator67

That's not your personality, it's just behaviour. You can easily change your behaviour because you are motivated to. Break it down into little steps. For example: swap your 'thank you's for another word. Think of 3 possible words to replace 'thank you'. Reward yourself for every time you remember to say the replacement word to help you remember. For example: If you remember to say the replacement word once, during two interactions that day, treat yourself to some praise/positive self talk. keep count throughout the week. If you get more than 10 in a week buy your favourite treat on Fridays! Its also important to be comfortable with silence!


padadow

I really liked this tip. I don't usually reward myself for my good behavior, and I have heard on many occasions that it's a very good way to achieve goals. The "break it into small steps" trick is also very good, and I apply it in many aspects of my life, except my behavior! I will follow your advice I understand that by "swaping your thank you's" you mean something like what I just did, telling you that I really liked that tip, am I right? :)


Pulsinator67

You got it! swapping to complementing the other person will suit your respectful nature 🙂


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padadow

You're right, it's my behavior! The things I value the most in life are friendships and the experiences I make in it. It may sound a bit cheesy, but that's it hahaha. I have to eliminate those obstacles that don't allow me to achieve my goals So yeah, I think I'm doing fine. I'll take it easy and be patient, as you say. I really appreciate your answer :)


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